If It Means A Lot To You
by manhattanProject
Summary: But I can't help it. I just feel complete when you're by my side. But I know you can't come home. Mitchie/Alex short story
1. Prologue

**A/N: Hey guys, I know I said I would post short stories/one-shots when I'm stuck on Alter The Ending but here's one anyway. I'm not necessarily stuck. I have plans but I'm sorry to say that I think after the next two (_maybe_ three) chapters I might put that story on hold temporarily. I hate when stories go on hiatus when I'm in the middle of reading it but I promise I'm going to try my hardest. I'm just not up to it lately but I swear I'm not abandoning it.  
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**This is a short story. It was originally a one-shot but it became so ridiculously long that it annoyed me so I broke it up and decided to throw in a prologue. The prologue doesn't give too much away to the plot line but it's really just an intro. The whole story is told through Mitchie's POV and it never changes. After this it's going to be 3 chapters. I might pull a 4th one out of my ass for you guys if you want but I'll just see how the original 3 go first. I might not even continue it to begin with.  
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**Again, I came up with the idea for this from a weird dream I had and I write down certain things from them when I wake up so I remember them. So those random things made no sense but I somehow turned it into...well, this. I'm not sure what this is but hey, it's something.  
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**This time around I tried to change up the way I write so bear with me. I'm still fairly new to this; I apologize. I literally just thought this up and wrote it in a few days. There's not a lot of background information/history but I wrote what's necessary to know. It is a _short_ story after all.**

**Anyway. I will probably get the first real chapter up either later tonight or tomorrow (because it's done) if anyone wants.**

**I hope you enjoy this. Leave a review and let me know what you think and all that stuff I always say.**

**Title/summary of the story: If It Means A Lot To You by A Day To Remember**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my weird ass dreams.**

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><p><strong>Prologue<strong>

It's both absolutely frustrating and undoubtedly magnificent, when you love someone. You give them everything you could possibly give and even when you have nothing left you dig deeper and find a little bit more, because they're worth it. You spend countless hours and endless nights wondering what on Earth you could have possibly done right to experience this feeling.

You love the person you're with. They're not just your partner but they're also you're best friend. You love them because they get you. You love them because you feel safe with them. You are suddenly invincible and incredibly vulnerable at the same time because they are also the one person who you are comfortable enough with to let your guard down. You're not embarrassed or ashamed of any bizarre or weird thing you do or say anymore. They'll never judge you. They'll smile that charming smile of theirs, maybe shake their head, and tell you how cute they think you are when you ramble or stutter.

Love is a weird word. It's a great word. It's a scary word. And it's a heavy word. The weight of it can bury you. It can crush you. And it can smother you. You can't just throw it around. You have to be careful. Because you can get hurt at any second. You will be caught up in everything and then caught off guard. And you won't even know what hit you until you're in too deep and don't know how to come back to the person you once were. You don't even know if you want to be that person anymore. Because you've never felt more alive in your whole life than you do right now.

Love is complicated but, God, it's so simple. I love you. I'm _in_ love with you. I'm in love with everything about you. You love me too? Take me. Then we can run away together. But it won't be running away because, really, what are we running from? I have everything I could ever want, right? I don't want to hide you. I want to tell the world that you're mine and I'm yours. I _am_ yours…right? Right. Then what's the problem?

Love is messy. Sometimes you have no idea what's going on. Sometimes you have no idea what you're going to do. Sometimes the person you love will confuse you and mess with your head, not on purpose of course, but it will drive you insane. You'll obsess and worry and sometimes it's really for no reason. Sometimes your behavior is justified but no one seems to understand you. No one but that person you love so much. They're the only ones who understand you inside and out.

They say distance makes the heart grow fonder. I hope they told you that. Who knows, maybe it does. You can be so far that you feel like you are literally being pulled and stretched to the point where you can't snap back. Try to snap back though. I know, it can be hard and feel damn near impossible. You may not even know that it's happening. But keep going. You'll eventually find your way back. And hopefully I will too. It gets better. I think it does. At least, I _hope_ it does.

Falling in love…what an absolute miracle and train wreck all wrapped up into one beautifully chaotic little package. You didn't plan it and you couldn't help it, but you fell in love. And praise whatever deity you hold sacred because, guess what…that person you fell in love with…has somehow fallen in love with you too. We don't realize the exact moment it happens. But when we do realize, we hold onto it for dear life. Don't hold on too tightly though. And don't hold on too loosely. Because then everything you have, including the one you love, will slip away. You'll ruin it. You'll ruin everything great about it. You'll ruin the relationship. You'll ruin the person you love. And you'll ruin yourself.

So just be careful. And if things go bad, don't worry. Just remember that you're not alone. I'm always here. I always have been. I always will be. But sometimes I don't know how to put what I'm feeling into words. Sometimes people are afraid to tell the one they love that they're hurting them. They sit alone hoping and praying that one day you'll just see it and everything will go back to the way it used to be. When you first fell in love. When we first fell in love.

I wish I could tell you this. What we have means everything to me. But what we have has turned into a mess. I need you here with me. If you could just come back to me…just _stay_ with me, then I'll be okay. And I'm not okay. I'll tell you that I'm fine but inside I am screaming at you to stop this. Just come home. But I will never do that. Because I love you too much. I love you too much to be selfish. But I also love you too much to watch us fall apart.


	2. Friday

**A/N: I changed my mind. I wanted to actually get out the first real chapter now so here you go. Consider it a gift, if you will. But yeah. The chapters are definitely longer than the prologue because...that was a prologue. Don't forget, the whole story is in Mitchie's perspective!  
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**Plus, I have midterm shit to worry about (which I'm gonna bomb. Failure: party of one. *raises hand* #holla) so I don't know if I'm gonna have to time to put it up. SO ENJOY AND REVIEW BITCHES! :D  
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**The chapters go by days of the week(end) not song titles like I normally do. I did have a couple songs in mind when coming up with the plot though.  
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**For Mitchie: You're Gone by Something Corporate**

**For Alex: Dear God by Avenged Sevenfold**

**But both songs were so undeniably depressing so I didn't want to use them. Listen to 'em they're great songs, sad but great. Not necessary though.  
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**The story is rated T because I would _HARDLY _call it "mature" and if this site has a problem with it then it can just go ahead and kiss my ass.  
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**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my weird ass dreams.**

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><p><strong>Friday<strong>

I don't know what I was expecting to wake up to when I opened my eyes. Disappointment comes to mind, among other things, but I was just jumping to conclusions. It was dark in my room but I knew that it was the morning. My alarm went off about five seconds later confirming my thoughts. I shut it off and held my breath as I carefully reached out my hand. It was almost a routine no matter how rare it was that there was even the opportunity.

Empty. I could be describing a number of things but for now that is what my bed was, save for me but that was a given. Empty. I sighed and released the breath I had been harboring ever since I realized that I was no longer asleep; no longer in my dream world. I don't escape it though. I'd wake up sometimes and it would be like I am still there; in a dream world. Actually, it was most of the time. And yet I continue to put myself through this.

I love her. That is usually what I would use to defend it. This shouldn't be something that I would even need to defend but unfortunately I had no choice. The feeling of being in my bed alone left a dull aching in my chest that I would time and time again try to bear or even ignore. It's not intentional, I keep telling myself. Or maybe it is. Who knows? No. I've had this argument with myself, and some others, too many times. She doesn't mean it.

Forgetting the time, and the fact that I had class in an hour, I rolled over onto my back and stared up at the ceiling. I could still feel her next to me; it was as if she never left. But I know she did. She always does. I pulled the thin sheets off of me and onto the ground, not really caring for tidiness at the moment. The cool air hit my body instantly but I was too numb to react to it; not even a shiver.

I blindly walked over to my dresser to cover my naked body from no one. _Because no one was here._ I grabbed underwear and yanked my jeans on. I don't even know why I'm bothering. Going to class sounded like a horrible plan for the day. I pulled a yellow v-neck shirt over my head when I heard a light knock on the door. My heart could have leapt out of my chest, could being the operative word. It wouldn't. It's not her. It never is. And I know that.

"It's just me." My voice was a lot quieter than I thought it would be. Maybe I was still tired. Or maybe I was trying to hide how upset I was. Maybe I was trying not to cry.

"Are you decent?" The familiar voice rang louder than mine despite the early hour.

"Yeah, you can come in." The door creaked as if this building was over a thousand years old. A petite girl only a few months younger than me poked her head in the room. She looked around, studying everything, like she didn't believe me.

"Alright, just checking." She fully stepped in and turned the light on, making me wince from the brightness. Now that I wasn't blind I could see that she was already dressed for her first class, which she shared with me. She had on brown shorts with a white blouse and brown boots to match. Her hair was light brown that faded into blonde near the tips, falling straight a little past her shoulders. She was a pretty girl, and she was well aware of it. Her green eyes met mine. "Rough night?" she asked playfully as she took in my distressed appearance.

"Shut up, Ash." I didn't mean it maliciously and I was thankful that she knew that without me having to explain myself.

"You know I'm starting to think you're making this whole thing up."

"Well I'm glad my disappearing girlfriend brings you some form of amusement," I said dryly with little to no emotion in my voice.

"Hey it's not my fault she keeps going all Houdini on you." I know it's not but I need someone to take this out on. And she's the only one here besides me. This would have to do.

"I know."

"And I was just kidding. Sort of. I mean, if it wasn't for that one time I accidentally walked in on you two going at it in bed together I wouldn't believe you were going out with her." What she says makes a lot of sense, too much sense, and I don't want to believe that it does.

"She's just busy." My defense for her is always the same it's starting to sound pathetic. But it's all I've got.

"Come on Mitch, you know an explanation every now and then wouldn't kill her." I want to agree with her but being stubborn seems rational.

"She doesn't need to give me one. I know what her schedule is like."

"Yeah whatever you say."

"Thanks again for letting me have the room last night." She took a seat next to me on my unmade bed.

"Don't worry about it. I crashed with Dave. He didn't mind." Dave was one of our good friends, a best friend even. I loved him ever since I met him my freshman year. He lives down the hall from mine and Ashley's room. I even told him that if I was straight I would marry him in the future. Too bad for him I am nowhere near straight. And I am way too in love with my girlfriend. Sometimes I think I love her too much.

"I bet he got a kick out of that," I said, the smallest hint of laughter breaking through my voice. Dave was well aware of my relationship, as was Ashley. As hard as I tried to keep it hidden she was bound to find out. She _is_ my roommate after all. And if Ashley knows something, so does Dave. They both think my situation is 'tragically hilarious' as they like to put it.

"A little, but you know he's worried about you too."

"There's nothing to worry about. We're fine. I'm fine."

"Are you really though?" I thought about her words but I wouldn't give in. "Maybe you should try talking to her about it." That might help if I wasn't so afraid of messing up what we had. I shook my head and slipped my sneakers on.

"Can we not talk about this? I just want to-" I stopped mid-sentence when my hand went back to the bed and brushed over something cold. I turned and looked throughout the sheets for what I just touched. I felt it again and I grabbed onto it, raising it to my lap.

"What's that?" I played with the thin silver chain in my hands, feeling that dull ache in my chest returning making it harder for me to think straight or even breathe.

"It's…hers," was all I could stutter out. I stared down at the necklace draped across my palm, a lone ring hanging off the end of it. The clasp was still hooked in place. No one had undone it. She didn't take it off. My lungs slowly expanded, allowing some air into them. "I gave it to her a year ago." I noted the random separation in the chain links. "It broke."

"What is it?" she asked curiously and I handed the small piece of jewelry to her.

"I spent such a long time saving up to get her something. Something she didn't already have and something she wouldn't just get for herself. She could have anything in the world, anything at all. I didn't know what else to get. I wanted it to be special."

"It's pretty." She turned the ring in her fingers, examining it.

"Thanks. It's from when we first met, well, sort of."

"You gave her a ring when you first met?" she asked as her eyebrow rose in a questioning manner. A small chuckle escaped my lips.

"Not exactly." I smiled a bit as I recalled the memory. It was our first year here. We went to different schools of the college. I was in the school of science while she was in the school of arts. The campuses were next to each other so we would always see various students around the city. "She had this ring; her grandmother had given it to her before she passed away. She loved it and was always careful about it. She took it off though because she had a dress rehearsal for something and she wasn't allowed to have it on. Anyway, long story short, someone had knocked into her when she was walking in the courtyard one day and it fell out of her pocket. She was in the middle of trying to find it when she collided into me while I was going running."

"Right, I remember you coming back with a busted lip that day."

"Yeah, she felt bad about hurting me but I offered to help her look for her ring. We spent hours looking. She seemed really upset and normally I wouldn't bother but there was just something about her. We couldn't find it and eventually gave up but throughout the entire search we had gotten to know each other. We became friends instantly. It wasn't love at first sight but I did have a small crush on her."

"Is this the same ring?"

"Kind of. I elaborated on it. I stumbled upon it later that week but it was broken. I don't know what had happened to it but I only knew what it was because she had described it to me with such great detail it matched the description perfectly, from what I could tell anyway. When I gave it back to her she was crushed and she wanted to get rid of it. I held on to it though. When the time came, you know…later on when we were actually dating, after she blew up in the media, I wanted to give her something that meant a lot. I managed to save the stone from her ring and I put it in a new one and had it engraved."

"Why is it on a necklace?" I took the chain from her and gazed at the dark green stone in between two white ones and sighed.

"Giving a ring freaked me out and I didn't want it to be the same for her. Plus, this way it was closer to her heart."

"Aw well aren't you romantic," she gushed with a smile and I frowned at the silver band. "What's wrong? Did she not like it?"

"No, she did. She loved it. So much that she cried. She hasn't taken this off since I gave it to her." She kept it on through everything; the concerts, the photo shoots, the tapings…everything.

"Mitch, I really think you should talk to her about this. You love her and it's destroying you."

"I can't do that. I don't even know when I can see her next." I ran my hand through my hair and slid the ring off of the chain. I took off the one I was wearing. It wasn't anything too special. It was a small cross from when I was younger. I don't even know where it came from; I just always seemed to be wearing it. I took the cross pendant off and placed it on top of my dresser and replaced it with her ring, closing the clasp. "All fixed."

"Mitch…"

"I need to find her. I need to give this back to her."

"Mitchie don't be ridiculous. We have class soon. You can't miss it. And you don't even know where she is." I ignored the brunette and grabbed my phone and searched for her name. I tried calling but no one answered. I tried and tried and tried again. Nothing. It eventually started going straight to voicemail. "She's not picking up, is she?"

"She's probably busy." That excuse was starting to get _really_ old. Just one of the manyperks of dating someone who was constantly in the public eye. I sent her a text instead asking her whereabouts. Nothing about the necklace though.

"Don't do this to yourself. Come on; let's just get to class before we're late." I sighed for what seemed to be the hundredth time this morning and reluctantly grabbed my things and headed out the door with Ashley.

Our relationship wasn't always like this. I remember a time when we would spend every second of every day with each other. I guess it doesn't count because it was before we were _official_. She only stayed in school for a short while. She was always trying to get into the business and I knew she would make it someday. I just didn't think it would happen in the blink of an eye. But when opportunity practically throws itself at you, you don't ignore it. And I told her that.

She was hesitant about her decision because of me. I didn't want to be the reason she didn't get to live her dreams so I was supportive. I admit I wish things were different sometimes, like now. I'm here, my final year as an undergraduate student in college in Manhattan and she is out there doing it all. She had some history with acting before so it was no surprise that her career jump started at such an early age. Throw in her amazing voice and stunning beauty and she was a triple threat.

Of course her famous lifestyle isn't all that glamorous and I knew better than anyone else how much it could ruin people. Mainly us. According to her manager and other members of her team, her relationship with me was going to be damaging to her career and _status_ in the industry. Translated into the language of simple people like myself, it meant that I had to go or she was done before she even started.

A rumor or two may have slipped out but all was easily covered. No one could find out though. So now I'm basically out of the picture; _it's too risky_. Being gay was unacceptable for a new up and coming actress and singer; her manager's words not mine. He gave her a choice though and she came to me with it. I told her to go with it because this was a once in a lifetime chance for her. And I wasn't about to stand in her way.

We worked out something. Looking back I always wonder if I did the right thing. We agreed we wouldn't stop seeing each other. _Because we loved each other too much_. But no one could ever know. It was a good thing that no one knew we were dating before all this happened. We weren't too…expressive around others but that's the way we liked it. But this now…this is just downright absurd. We act like strangers if we're ever seen in public together. And we hardly see each other to begin with.

She would apologize all the time and ask me over and over if I want her to stop this. I would never make her choose between me and her job though. I try and tell myself it's because I don't want to be selfish but I know deep down I'm just really afraid of what her choice might be. She eventually stopped asking and I wouldn't dare bring it up.

It didn't help that she had to date someone else for a PR stunt. She told them a million and one times that she absolutely refuses to do such a thing but her arguments fell upon deaf ears and now she and her _boyfriend_ have been the power couple in the media for the past two years. I know it means nothing though so I don't hold it against her. I don't hold anything against her.

Not once did my phone buzz in my pocket since I had tried contacting her. I was anxious to talk to her and my class _dragging _didn't help at all. I got out of there in a rush but I don't know why. It's not like I know where she is. Where was I going to go? She could be in another state or country for all I know. She never answered me. I just needed to see her.

I thought about what Ashley had said to me about having a talk with her about the way I was feeling. I didn't want to have that talk with her. I still had her necklace with me and that's why I was trying to find her. At least I had an excuse to see her. My chest tightened. I shouldn't need an excuse to see my own girlfriend.

I wracked my brain for anything at all, something she might have said, that would give me some sort of clue as to where she could be. As if by some miracle, something hit me. As sad as it seemed I pulled out my phone, not failing to notice that I still had no new messages, and opened my Twitter. She hadn't said anything since a couple days ago but I vaguely remember her announcing something. I scrolled through and found the post I was looking for. She was doing an interview with MTV some time during the day. Today.

I searched through the social networking site for any mention of her name. I immediately came up with hundreds of results. People were saying that they spotted her on the street and some people even took pictures. She was in different clothes than last night but the more recent posts were claiming that she was still in Times Square. There was a very slim chance that I would find her but damn it I was desperate. I didn't even bother going back to my dorm room. I took the first subway I could find straight to 42nd Street.

The ride was too long for my liking but I soon emerged from the underground train station. This place was always a zoo because of the constant flood of tourists but it was obnoxiously packed today. She had to be here. She just had to. I tried calling again. No answer.

Times Square wasn't _that_ big of a place, not to me anyway. I've been here so many times I know the area by heart. Still, I walked up and down the streets like a lost puppy. I don't even know what I'm going to do on the off chance that I _do_ find her. She's just going to act like she's never met me before. Just like always.

I was exhausted both physically and mentally after a while of endless walking. I couldn't do this. It was hopeless. I was never going to find her. I checked my phone. No messages or missed calls. People online were still saying they saw her here but I could not for the life of me find her. I sat on a nearby curb where no cars could pass through and hung my head.

The necklace was still in my hand. I gripped the ring firmly between my fingers, the cool metal pressing into my palm. I really was living in a dream world. I don't know how I thought this would ever work out. I always end up hurt. Is she even affected by all of this? I would never know because we would hardly bring it up. The rare times we do get to spend time together are spent with happy sighs and gentle touches sans clothing. We missed each other too much to talk about anything negative. We just wanted to be together. At least that's what _I _wanted.

I shoved the necklace in my pocket and dropped my head into my hands. I don't know if I could handle this kind of pain anymore. I wanted this to work so badly but it was draining the life out of me and I don't think she sees that. I got up on my feet and started for the subway to go back to my dorm. I was done searching.

On my short trip to the train I felt my phone vibrating inside my jeans. I nearly ripped my pocket off trying to retrieve it. I had to remind myself not to get my hopes up though. With my luck it was probably Ashley or Dave asking me where I was. I took a deep breath but my heart stopped altogether when I saw the name on the screen. _Her_ name.

_Sorry, I'm in TS near the bus terminal._

That's it? I call her fifty times and that's all I get in response? This was ridiculous. I was just about ready to throw my phone and smash it into the concrete below me until something clicked. I looked back at the text message; _the bus terminal._ I know where that is. It's so close to here. I might be able to finally catch her. I practically sprinted the next two blocks.

I was out of breath when I reached my destination and I thanked God that I didn't actually have to look _inside_ the bus terminal because that was a nightmare in itself. I looked around and saw a small crowd of people across the street from one of the entrances. On the other side I saw her. If I wasn't already out of breath it would have been knocked out of me.

She looked absolutely beautiful. Her hair was done perfectly as was her makeup, but she always looked flawless in my eyes. She was wearing black shorts and a low cut top with high heels. I had to remind myself to breathe upon looking at her. I almost forgot what I was even doing here. My feet carried me involuntarily toward the brown eyed beauty only a few feet away from me.

Her back was turned to me as I slowly approached her. My throat became dry and if I were standing still I would probably be shaking. I don't know why I was so nervous. I had known her for almost four years now. She was no stranger to me. But of course this is how it had to be when we were out. I had to act like I haven't spent countless nights in bed with her and kissing her until I couldn't breathe anymore.

She turned around before I could make my presence known and her eyes locked onto mine. They shined brightly when she saw me and I could see her fighting the smile that tried to appear on her gorgeous face. She had to remember to stay in check and so did I. It didn't make it any easier though.

"Alex." Her name falling from my lips made my body tingle and I wanted nothing more than to jump into her arms and never let her go. Despite the rules we had set for each other she grinned from cheek to cheek, and I melted right then and there.

"Mitchie…you're here." I don't know why her reaction made me feel the way it did. Maybe it was because I didn't think she'd be this happy to see me…or show it for that matter.

"Excuse me miss I'm going to have to ask you to step back." A rather large, bulky man tried to get me to back away but I wasn't about to move. Not when I finally found her.

"No it's okay, I know her." My heart swelled. _She knows me_.

"Mark wants you in half an hour we don't have time for this."

"This will just take a second, I swear." He backed off and I wondered why she suddenly didn't care about being with me in front of people. "What are you doing here?" What _was_ I doing here?

"Oh, um…I uh…" I was stumbling over my words but her smile never left. She looked like she was trying not to laugh at my nervousness. She always found my awkward tics amusing. The man with her rolled his eyes, growing impatient, and seeing as that I could not form real sentences, I held up my hand to her. She did a better job at hiding her excitement this time. I might as well have been handing her a pretzel.

"Thanks," she said with her usual cheerful voice, as if some fan gave her a gift. I guess that's what I was to everyone else; _some fan_.

"Wrap this up we have to go." He was persistent and way too overbearing. He put a hand on her back and started ushering her down the block towards a black car waiting for them. I followed.

"Where are you going?" I asked, trying my hardest not to show my disappointment.

"I have to go to Baltimore," she said as she was practically pushed down the street.

"You're leaving?" She stopped walking even though the man beside her was clearly unhappy about her delay.

"Do you want to come with me?" Such a simple question shouldn't be so outrageous. Yet, here I was shocked as if she just asked me to rob a bank with her.

"What?"

"Come with me." Her voice was calm but my insides were exploding with different emotions. She actually wants me to come with her. I've never gone with her when she had to go somewhere. But how could I just up and leave?

"You're going now?"

"Yeah," she said as if it were nothing. This was no big deal. My heart was racing.

"Uh, well…are you in a rush?" I couldn't just go with her right here, right now.

"Well, I need to get to JFK right now…"

"I can't go. I need to…and all my stuff is…I can't."

"Just meet me there," she said, again, as if it were nothing. How was she staying so nonchalant throughout this conversation? I was freaking out. I could have collapsed to the floor from being so anxious.

"In Baltimore?"

"Yeah." Her bodyguard started pushing her to the car once again and if I had any strength or courage I would yell at him for even putting his hands on her.

"We're going to be late," he said, fed up with our little exchange. Alex didn't look like she cared and I stopped myself from smiling.

"Alright, relax," she said to him before looking at the necklace that was still in her hands. What she did next made my breath catch in my throat and I swear I thought I was going to die. She came into me and pulled me into a hug. She has never hugged me in public before. I don't even think we have had a conversation last this long in public before. Her hand on my back was the only thing keeping me on my feet. "Bye Mitchie." She let me go way too soon and it took everything in me not to kiss her.

Before I knew it she was in the car and pulling away from the curb, disappearing into the Manhattan traffic. I stood there, unable to even blink. What had just happened? I had been looking for her all morning and I finally found her. And just like that she was gone. She's always gone before I could even get used to the fact that I was actually with her. I went back to my dorm to drown in my thoughts.

After a while something hit me. _She wants me to go with her_. But…then she just left. And I was supposed to…meet her there? How the hell was I supposed to do that? How in God's name am I even supposed to get to Baltimore? Was this some sort of a joke to her? Or does she really expect me to go with her. I couldn't lie though; I wanted to go more than anything in the world. I couldn't let this opportunity go. I don't know if she'll ever ask me again. My phone buzzed in my pants again breaking me from my thoughts. It was her again and, on cue, my heart started beating faster.

_Check your bag :)_

I didn't even waste time trying to figure out what she could possibly be talking about. I immediately ran to my bag and dug through it furiously. Everything seemed to be the way it was this morning. I sifted through the contents a bit more carefully and that's when I saw it. A mysterious piece of paper rested in the pocket. I grabbed it and unfolded it, studying each word that was on it. It wasn't her handwriting; it was printed. It had my name on it and random numbers and letters; things I didn't understand. It wasn't until I looked at it more clearly that I realized what it was. It was a boarding pass.

"Hey, there you are. Where'd you run off to?" I barely registered Ashley's question as she entered our room with Dave. "Mitch?"

"I'm going to Baltimore," I said, my voice low and almost inaudible.

"Baltimore? Why?" Dave's face was as confused as Ashley's. I think I was confused too.

"She wants me to come with her." It sounded so surreal saying it out loud.

"Oh Mitch…" She took a seat next to me on my bed and put her hand on my shoulder. She was trying to comfort me but for once I didn't need to be comforted. "What are you doing? She's putting you through hell and you still jump when she says so." My eyebrows furrowed but I didn't want to get mad at her. She's been there for me when I let my frustration and depression get the best of me. I have broken down too many times and she has had to have the displeasure of putting me back together each time.

"It's not like that. This is a good thing. You wouldn't understand." Nobody would.

"I understand that you're blinded by your love for this girl. She leaves you and treats you like any other stranger and you're always left broken hearted. I hate seeing what she does to you."

"I love her." My explanation is so simple. My relationship should be simple too.

"Yeah, we know." Dave sat on the opposite side. I hated being sandwiched by people. "But is it worth it?" It's always worth it.

"I have to go."

"You didn't answer the question."

"Of course it is!" I didn't mean to yell but I admit I do have a bit of pent up anger. I doubt it was even from them. I ran my hands over my face. "Just…please, don't try to talk me out of this. I already made up my mind."

"Alright, fine. But you know Dave and I are here for you. Can you at least promise that you'll _try_ to talk to her about all this?"

"There's nothing to talk about." Her blank stare was worse than a slap to the face. "Okay fine, I promise. I'll tell her." That could have been a lie but I wasn't sure at this point.

The time of my flight was in the early evening and I would arrive there around eight. Dave eventually went back to his own room to tend to his homework while Ashley stayed, throwing in her opinion on the situation every now and then. I ignored every single one of them. Over the years I have mastered the art of tuning her out. It was a necessary skill one needed to develop in order to cohabit with the feisty brunette.

About halfway through my packing process I realized a few things. First, I didn't even know how long I was going to stay there. Second, I don't know what I'm going to do when I get there. Is she going to be waiting for me? Was she going to pick me up? Would she be standing at the airport waiting with open arms like I wished she would be? Impossible. _That's against the rules_.

Regardless, I packed only a few things. Knowing her, she would just tell me that bringing _any_ clothes would be…unnecessary. _It's not like you'd be wearing them_, she'd say. I could picture her angelic face contradicted by her devilish smirk. Despite how unbelievably crucial it was to have a real talk with her about everything I know deep inside all I wanted to do was feel her skin under my fingertips and her lips pressed against me.

"You should leave soon if you wanna make it to the airport in time." I didn't mean for my sigh to be as loud as it was. This trip should have me crying with euphoria but I had my guard up. And I hated that I had to. "You know, you could just not go."

"Then how else am I going to have a serious talk with her?" I knew she'd be on my side if I pretended to be on hers for a while. It wasn't a complete lie. I had every intention of talking to her.

"You're right; you should go."

I packed the last of my things and after a brief goodbye and good luck I headed out of my residence hall and out to the busy streets of the city in search for a taxi. Unlike other unlucky pedestrians, I had no trouble hailing a cab. I told him my destination and in an instant we took off to Queens.

She was probably already in Baltimore by now. Doing what, I have no idea. Working? Possibly. I told myself that if she was working then she wouldn't have asked me to come with her. But if she wasn't working then why did she have to go in the first place? My thoughts clouded my brain and almost gave me a headache. I only stopped torturing myself with my own mind when the man behind the wheel informed me that we had arrived. I paid him with money and a kind thank you and proceeded with the typical airport routine.

The whole process was a blur as I still couldn't shake thoughts of Alex from my head. I hate what our relationship has come to. The hiding, the secrecy, the absence…it was all so damaging to us. I never thought it would even come to this; flying to another state to _maybe_ spend time with her. We probably won't even be out in public. I never complained about it before. Because I don't want to start a fight. I don't want to kill what we had left of us.

The flight didn't last long. A standard trip from New York to Baltimore only took about an hour and a half, give or take a few minutes. My heart was already pounding madly against my chest and I haven't even set foot in the airport yet. _Don't get your hopes up, never get your hopes up_, I continued to repeat to myself. I found myself saying these words more times than I should.

As I walked further and further throughout the unfamiliar airport I felt my throat closing up in anticipation. My heart dropped into my stomach as other passengers all seemed to know where they were going; straight to their loved ones, friends, or colleagues. People who cared for them and anxiously awaited their arrival. And then there was me. I exhaled slowly and raised my eyes from my feet. A man, clad in a black suit, was holding up a sign. My name was on it.

We had a small conversation to prove my identity and he carried my things for me as I followed him to his car. I would never get in a car with random people but if Alex had anything to do with it then I would do it, no hesitation. It was a sick weakness I had for the girl and I succumbed to it every time. I was starting to think I enjoyed the sense of submission. It was sad, really.

I didn't pay attention to how long we had been driving but I somehow ended up standing in the lobby of a hotel I had never heard of or seen before. The man who had chauffeured me to the building only joined me as far as the desk to retrieve my room key for me. He gave me my room information and bid me farewell before taking off to someplace I didn't know nor cared for.

The elevator took longer than any other elevator I had been in but then again there were many floors to pass. My shaky finger pressed the button to take me up and I kept my trembling hands at my side the rest of the ride. I shut my eyes tightly and took deep breaths as if the walls were closing in on me. A faint ding and the door opened revealing a spotless hallway and I mindlessly wandered down it in search of my girlfriend.

My mind was numb. My eyes were tired. My mouth was dry. I needed to see her, bad. My eyes landed on the number I had been looking for. I stared at it for a few seconds before I felt I was fully prepared for whatever waited for me behind that door. I instinctively drew in another breath before the door flew open without me inserting my card. Before I could register what was going on I felt a pair of hands grab my arms and yank me into the room with such haste I almost fell over.

The door slammed shut behind me and I was shoved roughly against it. My hands came up to shove…anything…but they were forced above my head and soft lips met mine in a heated kiss. I immediately let go of my resistance and kissed back with everything I had in me. I would know these lips anywhere, even in the dark.

My body had a mind of its own; all previous decisions of not giving in and finally pouring my heart out…vanished. I dug my fingers into her dark brown, nearly black, hair and pulled her face closer, pushing my lips harder into hers. A low whimper echoed in the empty, unlit room and I released her, her hands moving to grab at my backside. They trailed down until they gripped the backs of my thighs. I wrapped my legs around her waist as she carried me further into the room until we hit what I could only assume was the bed.

My back hit the mattress and a warm body pressed down against my own. She wasted no time and came back, crashing her lips into mine. Moan after involuntary moan escaped from the depths of my throat. Her hands skimmed over my bare skin under my shirt, slowly dipping lower and lower. She reached the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head. She buried her face in my neck and I gasped when she pushed her hand past my jeans and underwear all at once.

The heat coursing through my body only increased as her fingers worked against me. She silenced me with her lips once again and I needed to feel her skin. I practically ripped her shirt off and dragged my fingernails down her back. The pressure was building up inside of me and I pushed my hips up into her, wanting her to be even closer.

My skin was on fire and I thought I was going to pass out. She whispered my name into my ear before kissing me with both passion and desire. There was nothing she could do to keep me quiet and I melted under her touch. I had no control over it. She had me wrapped around her finger from the start and that was never going to change no matter how far apart we were. I bit her bottom lip and she moaned into my mouth.

She tore my pants off all the way and quickened her motions and caressed my cheek with her free hand. Our lips parted as a shudder ripped through me and I held onto her for dear life. I groaned out something unintelligible and then I was panting hard; her breathing was irregular as well. She pushed some loose hair that had fallen in front of my face and tucked it behind my ear. Both of her hands were now on either side of me, supporting her as she hovered over my heaving chest. She slowly lowered herself to lie down on me and kissed me softly and slowly.

"I've missed you so much," she breathed against my lips and a tear formed in my eye and a lump formed in my throat. I couldn't seem to swallow it enough to speak. I blinked once and soon enough my cheeks were warm and damp. But I doubt she noticed. I stayed silent in the pitch black room, the only things heard were our breaths, inhaling and exhaling in synch. She leaned in once more to press her lips gently against mine before moving to lie down next to me. Her arm draped over my stomach and her head on my chest. "I love you, Mitch." I wrapped my arm around her and held her tightly to me, afraid she would slip away at any second. Maybe she would. She usually does.

"I love you too."


	3. Saturday

**A/N: I seriously didn't expect you guys to like it that much but thank you so much to those who reviewed and added this to their favorites/alerts list. You're the best and I love you all.  
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**I didn't want this chapter to be _so _serious (even though it's supposed to be) so I tried to balance it out.**

****There's one more chapter after this but as I said before I might add a fourth if you want.****

****So enjoy the second chapter and keep reviewing and I'm going to try and finish the next one today!  
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**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my weird ass dreams.**

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><p><strong>Saturday<strong>

Unlike my almost windowless dorm, the sun shone brightly into the hotel room illuminating everything more than necessary. I didn't feel the weight on me that was there last night and my chest immediately began to tighten. I kept my eyes closed, refusing to open them, afraid of what I might see if I do…or what I might not see.

The familiar feeling of disappointment crept up on me but this time it was…different. This time it was accompanied by another feeling, which confused me. Shock waves of inexplicable and blinding pleasure shot throughout my body and my hips bucked forward without really meaning to. I had no idea what was happening but it felt unbelievable and amazing and…

"Oh my _God_." The silence in the air was broken and I gripped the bed sheets underneath me. The only other noise was an adorable giggle coming from directly in front of me. It sent even more pleasure to the lower half of my body and I felt my legs going numb, my whole body tingling. I didn't want to let it go though. I needed to stop this before I couldn't control myself again. I yanked the comforter off of me, revealing a half naked Alex, her hands planted firmly on my inner thighs. "What are you doing?" It wasn't a serious question but it was all I could come up with. My mind was unfortunately on…other things at the moment.

"You're a smart girl, Mitch; what does it look like I'm doing?" Her playful tone made it harder for me to stop her from continuing. She pushed herself up and crawled to sit next to me as I leaned against the headboard. "Good morning." I could feel my heart slowly putting itself back together after hearing those two words. I can't remember the last time she has stayed long enough to tell me that. I found myself smiling back at her.

"Good morning." If her going down on me wasn't enough then that greeting alone left me breathless. "What happened to your lip?" I studied the small swollen area towards the left of her mouth and she just laughed. I wanted to wake up to that laugh every day.

"You hit me with your knee at one point. It's fine; it'll probably go away in an hour or two." She shrugged her shoulders as I raised my eyebrow at her.

"How long have you been doing that?"

"Not that long. Just long enough for you to wake up. It's eight."

"Ugh, why so early?" I didn't really mind. Of course I was exhausted from my school and work schedule earlier this week but I'm with my girlfriend for more than just one night; I can't complain.

"We slept early, well at least I did." I didn't fall asleep until hours after she did. I couldn't. There was too much on my mind. I just laid there listening to her breathing even out and it eventually lulled me to sleep. I don't know when. "And I wanted you to wake up."

"Why?"

"So I could spend more time with you." She needed to stop saying such sweet things or I was never going to get this off of my chest. I still found myself smiling. "Now…where was I…" she trailed off as her hand trailed down the length of my body, back to where her mouth was previously. Her half-smirk-half-grin was still in place as she kissed my neck and I knew that it was now or never.

"Alex, wait…" I shook my head so she would move hers away from me long enough to actually look at me.

"Why, what's the matter?" I bit back the moan building in my throat as her hand was still between my legs. I reached for it and pulled it away so I could breathe properly. "Aw, c'mon Mitchie. I missed you." Although I loved hearing that, it rubbed me the wrong way. My stomach turned at her words.

"You saw me last night…and the night before," I said as if we've been spending _too much time with each other_. What a joke.

"I know. And I wanted to repay you for that night," she said with that flirtatious tone of hers that always made me weak. Her hand slowly inched back to where it was but I grabbed it again before she could start.

"You came at 1:30 in the morning." My voice was firm but the will to completely break down was growing stronger with each breath I took.

"I didn't realize you were keeping track, but I do believe I came a few times after that." She was still smiling but I wasn't. I let her go completely and ran my hand over my face.

"That's not what I meant. You sneak into my room in the middle of the night, fuck me, and leave before I wake up. That's it."

"I'm pretty sure you fuck me too." Her jokes were starting to wear me thin.

"Enough! Can you not joke about this? Or is that all this is to you?" My words shook as they rang out and I was using everything in me to not cry on the spot. She just stared at me, confused.

"What? Sex or a joke?" I shook my head again and stood up in search for something to wear.

"Both." I grabbed a pair of underwear and shorts out of my bag and yanked them on. When I looked back up at her she looked upset. Apparently, I had upset her, which was ironic.

"No, of course not."

"Bullshit. All we do when we 'spend time' with each other is have sex. We don't even talk to each other anymore."

"That's not true we talk like every day." She wasn't entirely wrong. Being strangers in public didn't stop us from speaking. Phones and internet pretty much saved our lives.

"Yeah but we never even _see_ each other."

"I know; that's why I wanted you here!"

"And I'm just supposed to come whenever you feel like it? I have school and a job you know."

"Oh yeah I'm sure Starbucks is crippled with the loss of their favorite barista for the weekend." I knew it wasn't spiteful but it sure as hell came off that way. She noticed this too. "I didn't mean it that way."

"Whatever. Regardless of what a _shit job I have_, I still dropped everything just to come here with you because all of a sudden you wanted to spend more time with me."

"So did I! Wait, you think I decided last minute that I wanted to you to come?" Her brows were furrowed but she didn't look mad. I couldn't read the emotion on her face for probably the first time since I have known her.

"Didn't you?"

"What? No! The original plan was for you to come _with_ me. I wanted to surprise you. I cancelled everything this weekend. Mark got mad at me but I just needed a break and I needed you. He said the only way it would be possible was if we came here so I could fit in a meeting with some people from the record company. But that was supposed to be at the end of the weekend before we left." I took everything in and didn't know what to make of it.

"So what happened?"

"Everything changed so fast. I wanted to get something more private but it was the best I could do on such short notice. Mark the scheduling Nazi changed the time last minute and told me I needed to get my ass over here yesterday in the afternoon. I told him a million times that I was supposed to go with _you_ but he said it was nonnegotiable. And I ended up leaving you…_again_." I was speechless. She wanted me to be with her. This whole thing was supposed to be about _us_. I was supposed to be sitting right next to her on that plane. I could have cried. "It was a long shot you would even be here right now. I thought this weekend was ruined and then all of a sudden you're standing right in front of me."

"You could have said something."

"I wanted to but I had to find a way for you to get here. I couldn't just call you right before I leave for the airport and be like 'oh hey I'm going to Baltimore in ten minutes you think you can get here now?' And Vince took my phone away." I assumed that was the gargantuan gentleman manhandling her back in Manhattan. I could be wrong though. I probably wasn't. "Mark told him I couldn't be _distracted_ by anything," she scoffed and folded her arms. "And that was after barking at me at six in the morning to meet him at Times Square."

"And you left me…"

"I didn't have a choice."

"It doesn't matter! God, do you know how it feels when you _finally_ get to be with the one you love and you wake up to find out that they're gone?" My own words cut me like a knife. I think they struck something in her too. She looked hurt. I almost regretted having this discussion but it needed to happen.

"Mitchie you know I don't _want_ to leave you all the time. We knew what we were signing up for and I told you that if you weren't okay with it then I wouldn't do it." My pain was replaced with guilt, which I think felt even worse. This is what I have been trying to avoid all these years. "Do you honestly think I enjoy it?" A lone tear fell down her cheek. My heart started tearing again. "I just want to be with you but then I find out that I need to go. I hate it, Mitch. I hate treating you like some one night stand because you're so much more than that. You deserve more than that."

"You know some people complain that their relationship fell apart because there's no passion anymore. But that's just it with us. That's the _only_ thing we have. Do you remember when we used to spend entire days together and _not_ have sex?"

"I know it seems that way but I just…I'm so far away from you and for so long that when I see you all my emotions, all my feelings just…take over at once and I can't control it."

"I just feel like you don't care." I don't know why I even said this. I know she does. I thought she was going to get offended until I saw more tears slide down her face. Her head dropped into her hands and everything inside of me slowly started to shatter.

"I'm sorry Mitchie. I never wanted it to get like this. I knew what I was doing to you but I didn't want to admit it. You never said anything so I didn't either. We would always be happy and I didn't want to ruin it. But I knew and I ignored it." Her sobs weren't loud but they sent a pounding in my ears and it's all I heard, over and over. Even when they died down they repeated in my head…over and over.

"Don't feel bad." My voice had softened considerably and I sat next to her. I just wanted to hold her and pretend that everything was completely fine. But I couldn't. That's what we've been doing for two years now. And look where it's gotten us. She was also living in a dream world. Maybe it was worse than the one I was in. But this couldn't go on anymore. I needed to wake her up from this. We both needed to wake up. Or we'd be stuck forever in an endless sleep. "I should have told you before. I didn't want you to feel this way. So I kept it to myself." She threw both her arms around my neck and clung to me, like she was falling and I needed to save her.

"You should have told me," she whispered, her trembling voice floating into my ear making me shiver. Her tears fell hot against my skin and I pulled back, using my thumb to wipe them away.

"I couldn't. You love your job and I wouldn't want you to just give it all up because I'm too selfish. Sure I want you around more but I can't ask you to do that." Her crying slowed until she was able to form coherent sentences again. She took my hands in hers and moved them from her face to her lap. She held on tightly.

"Since we're on the subject of being selfish…I should probably confess too." I don't know how much pain my heart could take but fear was beating it to death.

"What do you mean?"

"I love you Mitchie…more than I have ever loved anyone in my entire life. You mean the world to me. No amount of distance can change that. And I hate hurting you. And I hated knowing that I was aware of it and did nothing about it…because I was being selfish too. Do you know how many times I thought you would be better off with someone else?" I blinked. It was all I was capable of doing anymore. "I would be so…unbelievably happy…just because I got to be with you for even a minute and then I die a little on the inside because I know the minute is over. I hate that I have to act as if I don't even know you when all I want to do is find you in a crowd of people and hold your hand and kiss you so everyone knows that you're mine."

"Alex…"

"You're a strong girl. You always have been. You never let anything bring you down. But you're fragile. And I know that. I'm going to end up completely breaking your heart…and I'd rather break my own. It's been killing you and I refused to believe it. Because I wanted you. I _needed_ you. I know you would be happier with someone who you could actually _be_ with, someone who won't leave you. But I can't let you go, Mitch. I can't do it. I wanted you all to myself even when we're so far away. I want to keep you…forever…as long as you'll still have me." Something inside of me just went off and somehow, as if by magic, I was breathing right again. I slowly reached up to touch her cheek. She was crying, pained and guilt-stricken. Her hair was slightly messy and her eyes were red, filled to the brim with salty tears ready to free fall at any second. And she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

"You're wrong." It was weird; the look on her face seemed to exemplify everything I was feeling and I hated seeing my own pain in her. "There is no one else I could be happier with. You can keep me as long as you want. I'm yours Alex; I have been from the start. Ever since that day you came crashing into my life. I love you and I keep telling myself it's worth it because _you're _worth it." She placed her hands at the back of my neck and it sent chills down my spine.

"It's not worth it if this is what it's doing to us. I love my job Mitchie, I really do. It's everything I'd ever dreamed of. But all of it means nothing to me without you. And I would give it all up, _everything_, for you, if you want me to." Inch by inch she pulled me in closer to her. Our lips were barely touching but I could feel her breath on mine. My eyes were closed but I could feel her stare burning into me.

"I would never make you choose." I couldn't let go. I swore I wouldn't. I spent almost our entire relationship biting my tongue and I wasn't about to tell her now.

"Do you want me to stop?" She whispered and closed the distance between us. Our lips collided softly but my heart was racing. Everything burned; my lips, my hands, my neck…everything. She pushed me back and straddled me, never breaking the kiss. Her hands moved down to my chest and roamed over my stomach under my shirt. I slowly felt all the air leaving my lungs.

"Alex." I couldn't even decipher if I was trying to get her attention or if I was just moaning out her name from pleasure. Either way she kissed down my throat and sucked on my pulse point, making my heart beat madly. I thought it would stop altogether. Her hands slipped under the waistband of my shorts but only trailed the edge of my underwear, tauntingly. Her fingers played over me; my skin was on fire and my body was aching. Her lips brushed my ear.

"Tell me to stop." She could have meant so many things. _Don't let go_, I told myself again. I squeezed my eyes shut and she leaned up to kiss the single tear that managed to get out. Her fingers pushed passed the fabric of my underwear and my eyes shot open and I dug my nails into her bare shoulders. A half-strangled whimper escaped me and her hand moved a little faster. Her lips found mine once again and I almost forgot where we were or what we were even doing here. All I could think about was the gorgeous girl on top of me and how I never wanted to be without her ever again.

She pushed harder and I felt myself growing weak. I knew what she was doing. And she knew it as well. But I wouldn't let go. I tugged on her bottom lip, biting into the small cut I had caused earlier and she hissed in both pleasure and pain. Her pace quickened and I had to pull away from her so I could catch my breath before I went into cardiac arrest.

I don't know how I held on this long but I was starting to break. My hips pushed back into her over and over and my hands were latched onto her back as if my life depended on it. My breaths were labored and she was still looking at me with the sweetest gaze I have ever seen in my life. Nobody else looks at me like that. Nobody else makes me feel like this. No one.

"Let go, Mitchie." There was a world of meaning in the one simple comment that came out in one short breath. It was like she was staring straight into my soul and was begging to tear down the walls within me. Her words were paralyzing. I refused to let go though. I love her and I would never do that. With one final thrust I felt everything I was holding in burst through me like fireworks and I called her name out, almost desperately, into her neck. "You're too beautiful to cry." She was panting and shining with a thin layer of sweat.

"I can't help it." My voice was hoarse. Anyone would have thought I spent the entire morning coughing up a lung.

"You don't have to. It's okay, Mitchie." She sounded so sure of herself. The conviction in her words could convince me that anything is possible. And I would believe her.

"Don't say that. You don't know that."

"But I do." She lied down next to me, resting on her side. I turned to face her. Her expression had turned more thoughtful, a slight smile tugging at her lips. "You know, you're the only person I've ever truly felt this way about; like I could really spend the rest of my life with you. I'm so glad I met you when I did."

"Me too." I smiled at the memory. She had told me before that if she had met me just a few months prior she probably would have dismissed me without a second thought. I would have taken offense to that but she had her reasons, and I've never blamed her for it. When I had met her she was broken, not completely, but she was just barely healing. We weren't each other's firsts, although we might as well have been.

Before she met me she was in a serious relationship with a guy that she was absolutely in love with. I don't doubt that she was; she was a passionate person and put her heart into everything in her life, including her relationships. They were together throughout high school and he was her first everything. Turns out he cheated on her throughout the entire relationship with her then best friend. She doesn't speak to either of them anymore. She lost it to a guy who lied to her, used her, and, in the end, destroyed her. It took her a long time before she would start trusting anyone or let them in. But she let me in.

My story isn't anywhere like hers. It isn't some long romantic tale and it isn't some tragic love story gone wrong. I lost it when I was drunk to a guy I barely knew. It was consensual; I just didn't care. I was friends with the guy, but he was only someone I saw rarely and didn't have any real connection to. Looking back, I know I shouldn't have gone along with it but I didn't care enough to regret it. But after that I promised myself that the next time it would mean something. And it did. Because Alex means everything to me.

"Why did you bother with me?" I grew confused; she's never asked me that before. "I mean, I know you; you're amazing and you would do anything for the people that you care about but you're really closed off to others. You didn't even know me and you stopped to help a complete stranger."

"To be honest, I actually never really knew why I did what I did that day. But I don't regret it at all. You just seemed really upset and…lost. I felt bad and I didn't know why; I just wanted to help you feel better. I wanted you to be happy. And when I got to know you I realized that I made the right decision in sticking around." She had that smile on her face; the same one she was wearing when I found her yesterday. It stretched from cheek to cheek and met her eyes, her bright, shining brown eyes. "Plus, I thought you were cute."

"I don't know if I've ever told you this, but I love you."

"I think it might have slipped out once or twice." She leaned in to capture my lips in a quick kiss. As she pulled back I grabbed her face and pulled her right back in. I needed more. She was still only in her bra and underwear and it was driving me crazy. Her hand moved over me and she sat up in an attempt to straddle my waist. I held her shoulders firmly as I pushed her back down and rolled us over so that I was sitting on her instead.

"Feisty this morning, aren't we?" she inquired, undoubtedly amused.

"Shut up." I ignored her mouth and went straight for the neck. Normally I would avoid it as much as possible, which was hard in itself, because any visible marks would be _potentially problematic_. Something inside of me told me to forget about everything and just go for it. I guess I was feisty this morning.

She was breathing harder and harder the more I sucked and bit at the sensitive skin above her collarbone. It only increased as she kept trying to move her pelvis against my own. I didn't do anything in response though. I liked making her wait. My hands were still supporting me, placed on either side of her shoulders. Her hands, however, were crawling up my shirt.

She was writhing under me, desperately begging for contact. I lowered my body, pressing into hers, agonizingly slow. She said my name again and again in an attempt to coerce me into touching her. I smiled as I brought my lips back up to hers. She wasted no time in slipping her tongue into my mouth but it didn't feel as rushed as it seemed. We stayed like that for what seemed like forever until she flipped us back over. I wish it was forever.

I sat up with her in my lap and she ran her fingers through my hair, resting her hands on the sides of my face. I held her by the hips and gripped a little tighter every time she gave my hair a light tug. We were so caught up in each other that we didn't even notice that someone had been knocking on the door. When we finally did realize, it probably could have been minutes later since the person on the other side had arrived.

"Alex, open the door." A man's voice boomed through the door but Alex seemed to have other plans. She ignored it as if she didn't even hear it and continued kissing me. My eyes on the other hand opened to look around the room. Another knock echoed. "Now."

"Go away," she called out, hardly breaking away from me. The knocks only got louder.

"Alex I mean it."

"I don't care."

"It's Mark."

"I _really_ don't care."

"Open this door or I will. I have the card." I pulled away from her; whether it was to catch my breath or to stop this altogether was beyond me at the moment.

"Alex maybe you should just see what he wants." She pouted. I almost took back what I just said.

"But I don't want to. He's pulled me away from you enough times already. He told me I was done after yesterday."

"Alex! I'm coming in there in about ten seconds whether you like it or not." My God he was persistent.

"Maybe you should put some clothes on," I whispered to her and she giggled, like I had just told her a joke.

"Alright keep your bra on. I'm coming!" she shouted to the entrance to the room. She climbed off of me and went straight to the door and opened it. She failed to cover herself and I somehow think she doesn't care that her manager is going to see her half naked form. "What do you want? I'm busy." He didn't seem shocked or anything. He barely reacted. His face just dropped and he rolled his eyes. He grabbed her shoulder and pushed her back into the room, closing the door behind him.

"Alex, you can't go walking around naked. Why aren't you dressed?"

"Didn't think I'd have to be. I'm not working, _remember_?" She crossed her arms over her bra clad chest. I was beyond thankful that I still had my clothes on. I don't know how she is so nonchalant about it.

"You're always working, Alex. Like right now. Put some clothes on and come with me. We need to further discuss your contract with the guys from the record company."

"We did that yesterday." She sounded both bored and annoyed.

"Alex, just get your ass down to the lobby within the next five minutes. And for the love of God put clothes on before you answer the door next time." He just sounded annoyed. I got that from the way he couldn't say a single sentence without saying her name.

"Fine, prude." She closed the door on him and walked back to the bed where I was still sitting. She buried her face in a pillow and groaned loudly into it. I rested a comforting hand on her back.

"Everything alright there babe?"

"I have to go. I don't know for how long. But I promise I'll try to come back as soon as I can." I heard the entire conversation. She didn't need to explain anything to me. I know how her job is. This was something I was used to.

"It's okay." My voice could have been stronger but I was worn out.

"Are you mad?" She sounded both upset and apologetic. I would be lying if I told her that I wasn't but she _did_ say she would come back. She's never promised such a thing before.

"No. I understand."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, don't worry. I'm still pretty tired anyway. Just do what you have to do; I'll be here when it's over." She sat up with a long, dragged out sigh and kissed my cheek. I pouted.

"Don't do that. If I kissed your lips then it would take me longer than five minutes to get out of this room. Then Mark would have to come hunt me down and pry me off of you." She stood from the bed and lazily threw her clothes on, not really caring what she wore. I took a good look at her, almost admiringly. She had on a dark navy and white striped three-quarter sleeve shirt and tight skinny jeans. Wait…those are mine.

"Uh…you know you're wearing my clothes, right?"

"Yeah, I know. I like them better."

"Why?" It made no sense. She had hundreds of things in her wardrobe; nice things too, designer brands from all over.

"Because I like having a piece of you with me wherever I go. Like this necklace." She had it hanging around her neck once again; its rightful place. She pulled it out from under her shirt…well, _my_ shirt. "But your clothes smell like you. It makes me feel closer to you when we're so far away from each other."

"Is that why some of my clothes have been mysteriously disappearing?" I asked even though I already figured out the answer.

"Why Mitchie I have no idea what you're talking about," she said with a confused expression on her face, playing dumb.

"Uh huh, right. I have lost two pairs of jeans, like five shirts, and three sweaters in, I don't know, a year. And you haven't got the slightest clue as to what happened to them?" She just shook her head.

"Maybe you should take better care of your things." _Maybe I should have you arrested for theft._

"Oh, like my green hoodie with the white pull strings that I let you wear because my dorm room was _too cold_?" I pushed further and she bit her lip. Her smile broke through though. "Ah, so you remember it."

"But the green one's my favorite!" I laughed and shoved her playfully.

"Oh God, my girlfriend's a kleptomaniac."

"Shut up! I can't help it. I just like yours better than mine."

"Why? Your clothes are amazing."

"They're alright but they're not me. I feel like a fashion snob every time they give me new outfits, especially during photo shoots. I'm lucky that they let me keep the necklace on so I at least feel _somewhat_ like myself." I looked at her with a shy smile.

"You really wear it all the time?"

"I never take it off. When I noticed it was missing yesterday I cried because I thought I lost it."

"I'd rather you lose it than take it off," I told her honestly and she smiled sweetly at me.

"Thank you so much, Mitchie. When I saw you in Times Square and you were holding it in your hand it took _everything _in me to act as if it was no big deal. Do you know how hard it was to not kiss you? I can't believe you found it…again."

"It was in my bed. The chain broke."

"Oh I didn't even notice. Then again…" she trailed off; I could practically _hear _the smirk on her face. "…it's hard to focus on anything when your hot girlfriend is between your legs." I tried to hide the blush creeping up on my face but I soon felt her hands on my cheeks. When did she even get this close to me? Despite what she said before, she leaned in and kissed my lips slowly.

"Alex. Mmm, Mark," I managed to mumble out against her mouth, even though I didn't want her to move from this very spot. She groaned in response.

"Ugh, fuck me." I chuckled even though I knew she was just frustrated.

"I wish," I said seductively and she pushed me back on the bed and climbed on top of me.

"Screw it, he can wait," she husked before attacking my lips again, a little more roughly this time. I laughed at her impatience and reluctantly pushed her away.

"No Alex, you have to go."

"But I'd rather be with you," she whined with a frown. I hated that we couldn't just be together in peace.

"I know but I don't want you to get in trouble. Just go. I'll be waiting right here when you get back." I'm always waiting.

"You're the best." She climbed off of me and quickly put her shoes on, seeing it has been longer than five minutes already. She grabbed her cell phone and pecked my lips one last time before heading out the door. "Miss you already," was the last thing she said as I heard the door shut behind her.

I fell back against the bed and sighed. It seemed to be all that I was doing lately. But this was different. I didn't feel so distressed. I didn't feel hurt or disappointed. I didn't feel empty. Every time she would leave me it was like I was never going to see her again. I knew I would but I wouldn't know when. This time I knew. She was coming back. She promised she was coming back.

It's only slightly unnerving, the outcome of this weekend thus far. Don't get me wrong, I love and cherish every single millisecond I get to spend with Alex. My original resolve was gone though. I had come here with mixed emotions on the situation. On one hand I just wanted to be with her, and I was happy. On the other, I was just…torn. I was confused.

I wouldn't even need to think about it twice. I would never break up with her. I have come to terms with it and have accepted the fact that there is almost nothing that would make me end my relationship with her. I could have a gun to my head, trigger threatening to be pulled, and I would take that bullet before I leave her. I'll only leave if she wants me to.

I am fully aware of how sad and borderline pathetic that sounds. But like I said, I have accepted it. On more occasions than one, I find myself questioning my sanity. What the hell am I doing? Why am I doing this? Maybe Ashley was right. Maybe I am blinded by my love for her. I gave in to her when I swore that I wouldn't…_twice_. God damn it.

I know what she's doing but I also know she's not doing it to hurt me. I'm not stupid. Retarded in love, but stupid? No. Progress has been made, that's for sure. Is it enough? I actually have no idea. And I hated that. Yeah, we got everything out in the open…_for once_. I don't know if that actually changes things. And if that does, then do things change for the better? Or is everything going to backfire? Are we going to move forward or take a thousand steps back? I brutally murder myself with questions so much that it wears me out.

I can't think about this. But it's literally the only thing on my mind anymore. If after all this we're just going to go back to the way we were then I don't know how much more I can take before I actually start to fall apart. I'm afraid to see what will become of me when that finally does happen. I'm not saying that it definitely will, but I most likely won't be prepared for it. She can only hold me together for so long.

* * *

><p>"Hey, babe, wake up." The voice in my ear was almost as soft as the lips brushing forehead. When the hell did I even fall asleep?<p>

"Hmm." Apparently real words weren't in my current dictionary.

"C'mon Mitchie," she urged gently, lightly tapping the back of my shoulder. I tried to pry my eyes open but it was a lot harder than I expected it to be.

"I'm up." I would have been more convincing if my eyes weren't still shut. I tried once again and this time I managed to get one of them open. She was sitting next to me leaning on her arm on the other side of my body. I was about to reclose my eye when I realized what I was looking at. Alex. "You're here."

"Of course I am. The meeting took longer than expected but I told you I was coming back. You were sleeping when I got here though. I didn't want to wake you up so I waited."

"You didn't wait this morning," I told her pointedly expecting a blush in return. All I got was a smirk.

"I didn't hear you complaining." She thought she was so clever. Two can play that game.

"I was _asleep_." She remained unfazed.

"That didn't stop you from moaning and panting and calling out my name every ten seconds," she retorted and proceeded to imitate me, breathing out inappropriate comments and sounds in various inflections.

"Alright I get it!"

"I didn't know you were so religious," she teased and in one swift motion I shoved her off of the bed with the hand I wasn't sleeping on. She landed on the floor hard but laughed regardless. "Or violent…"

"You're an ass."

"I mean, you sounded like you enjoyed it."

"I cannot be held responsible for the things I do when I'm unconscious."

"Like kicking me in the face?" she asked with a cocked eyebrow and my eyes immediately went to study her lip. It looked like it was back to normal.

"I ought to kick you in the face again."

"It's okay baby I like it rough." She threw a wink my way and I allowed myself to laugh at her.

"Well I'm glad you had fun down there."

"Oh you bet I did. I had a lovely time and I hope to visit again sometime soon." She sat up and I reached my hand out to graze her cheek lovingly.

"You are…_so_ fucking weird," I admitted and she smiled wide. I pulled her into me, leaning up from the bed, and kissed her.

"But would you love me if I wasn't?"

"Nah," I said, uncaringly and she scoffed, looking only mildly shocked.

"Who's the ass now?"

"Probably the girl that said she didn't want to wake me up…and then woke me up."

"Well I'm sorry Sleeping Beauty, but I got dinner for us and I thought you would be hungry after your_ day-long nap_." I took a quick glance around the room but gave up on trying to find a clock somewhere.

"Why? What time is it?"

"Like…seven-thirty…ish? Something like that."

"Jesus I really knocked out." I sat up fully in the bed and rubbed the sleep completely out of my eyes. "Sorry about that."

"Don't worry about it; I've only been here a few hours."

"That was a long ass meeting." She rolled her eyes looking annoyed.

"Ugh I know. I mean it was mostly my fault. But whatever, it's over and Mark said I'm done for the rest of night. So I'm all yours."

"I'm honored."

"Now come on," she said as she grabbed my hand and pulled me out of bed. She led me to the dining area of the hotel room where a small table was set up. It was sweet of her but the only thing sticking in my mind was the fact that we're still inside; we can't go out. _Just like always. _We sat down together, sharing small talk while eating the dinner she brought for us.

"So how was the meeting anyway?" I asked curiously. She swallowed the food in her mouth before looking down at her plate. She seemed uncomfortable.

"Um…it was…good." I didn't know if I should be worried by the tone of her voice.

"What happened?"

"Well…they wanted to draw more attention to me, you know, new album and whatnot. And they think the best way to do that is for me to…um…announce that I'm…" I don't think I was breathing anymore. I practically broke the table in half from anticipation. "…engaged." Well now I definitely wasn't breathing. I blinked a couple times. I couldn't have heard that correctly.

"I'm sorry…did you say _engaged_?" She nodded her head and bit her lip. "What did you tell them?" I thought I was going to throw up waiting for her answer.

"I told them…I will get married…" I think I'm going to be sick. I couldn't look at her. I didn't even want to be here anymore. I pushed my seat away from the table to stand up but she immediately grabbed me by the wrist before I could. "But only if it's to you." And I was back to being speechless.

"What?"

"I said that there was no way in hell I was going to marry _anybody_ in the world let alone in the industry unless it was you." I sat there not knowing what to do or say. On a lighter note, I think I was breathing again.

"Really?"

"Yes, really. I have been in this fake relationship for two years now and not for a second did I ever want it. I'm not about to start a fake marriage just for publicity. I refuse. And I know you said you're fine with it but I know you're not. Getting married is taking it way too far. I would never do that to you. And like I said…if I am going to get married…if I am going to spend the rest of my life with anyone…it's going to be you." I felt myself relaxing, smiling even, but I was still a little hesitant.

"You really want to get married?" She looked one hundred percent serious and I don't know if that made me happy or just scared the crap out of me.

"Of course I do. I love you, Mitchie. And I wouldn't do that with anyone else, whether it's real or not."

"So what's going to happen then?" If this changes things, I wasn't sure. I can't even tell what's going to happen after this weekend is over. What's going to happen to her? What's going to happen to us? I could be closer to falling apart and I don't even know it. I hated not knowing. But then again, we never know what's going to happen. And it's gotten us this far.

"I don't know. I don't want to think about it. I just want to enjoy the time we have before we have to leave tomorrow." Before we go back to our lives. Back to what we were before we left.


	4. Sunday

**A/N: I know I said this story was going to be a prologue then three chapters but this last one was going on FOREVER. I cut and edited it and it's still super long so I changed it around so that there will be one more chapter after this. Thank you for reviewing. It means the world to me especially since I've never written a _short_ story before. So thanks!**

**Enjoy this one and watch out for the final chapter. Review and let me know what you think!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my weird ass dreams**

* * *

><p><strong>Sunday<strong>

She wasn't lying last night. Mark didn't bother her about working the rest of the weekend. I didn't know how to feel about today though. I felt like we were hiding from the world. We pretty much are. I don't want to though. I know she said to tell her but I just can't bring myself to do it. I have this deluded notion that everything will somehow be okay in the end.

I always thought that if she really loved me like she says she does then she wouldn't need me to tell her. She would just want to be with me all the time. But she does this because I told her to. _I'm sure it'll be fine, don't worry_, I said, _we'll make it work_. I don't know if you could call this _working_ because it honestly feels like we're broken.

No matter how much I loved the past couple of days I knew that it was going to end soon. And we couldn't just stay there forever. That's just like living in our stupid perfect dream world; a place where we could forget about everyone and everything and just _be together_. Real life, unfortunately, didn't work that way.

She always would tell me how we were meant to be together. Even from the start, four years ago when she literally knocked me off my feet, it was destined to happen. She says it's the way I was so caring and selfless that made her take a chance on me. I don't know what it was that made me take a chance on her. I just knew I had to.

"Hey Mitch, you ready to go?" I didn't even know how this was going to go. All I knew was that my bag was sitting with all my stuff in it right next to hers.

"Yeah," I said a little unsure. I was sitting on the foot of the bed slowly kicking my feet back and forth. She stood in front of me…in my clothes again. It's a good thing I have a habit of over packing. She tugged at the hem of the dark grey and red baseball t-shirt and looked at me curiously.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing. I'm fine, I promise." The last thing we needed was to end this spontaneous holiday on a serious note. "When are we leaving?"

"Our flight is in an hour and a half so we should probably head out soon." She had a slight smile on her face as she continued to stare at me.

"_Our_ flight?"

"Yeah…_our_; just like how it was supposed to be when we came here." I bit my lip to hold in my sudden jolt of excitement.

"So…we're going to be on the same plane…together."

"Well don't sound too excited Mitchie," she joked playfully and pulled me up from my sitting position. "I thought you would be happy about this. I thought this is what you wanted."

"I am happy. I'm extremely happy. But what happened to us not being able to be seen together? I mean, after those other times…"

"Don't worry about what happened in the past. The past is the past. Yeah, a couple rumors got out but Mark overreacted. It wasn't a big deal…not to me anyway."

"It was a big enough deal to him that he said that I had to stay away so it never happens again."

"He can't keep me away from you forever," she said a little more seriously. "Besides he's not going to have much of a say for much longer anyway." I raised my eyebrow at her as she bent down to pick up both of our things.

"What's that supposed to mean? Did you fire him or something?"

"No, of course not. Mark might be a dick and a half at times but he's a great manager."

"Then what-"

"Mitch come on I don't want to miss our flight," she said from the doorway. I sighed and decided to not even bother asking any further. The same guy who brought me to her on Friday was waiting for us in the lobby. There was a crowd of people outside of the hotel. I knew they would eventually find her. The crowd wasn't too big but I was a little worried. I mean, we were leaving _together_. "Just hang on a sec," she whispered to me before walking away from the car and towards the crowd of people, never one to ignore her fans who _adored her_. I would feel jealous, I mean really I am her girlfriend and they get her attention over me, but I am in no way that needy. I waited for her in the backseat until she returned with a big smile on her face. "Sorry about that."

"Don't apologize I wouldn't want you to be rude to random kids." She put her hand on my knee and leaned in close.

"And I wouldn't want you to feel like I'm ignoring you," she said with a kiss on the cheek that lingered for just the right amount of time. Oh God I really turn into a lovesick teenager around her. "And just think…we have an entire plane to ourselves for a whole hour and fifteen minutes." I laughed and laced our fingers together, remembering the feel of our hands pressed against each other, memorizing it.

"We might as well be up there all day," I told her sarcastically.

"Hey, a lot can happen in an hour and fifteen minutes." She moved her free hand to run up my thigh.

"Jesus. No wonder rumors surfaced; hands to yourself young lady," I swatted her hand away from my leg but leaned in to kiss her anyway. I rested my head against her shoulder and played with her fingers in my hand as we continued our drive to the airport.

I hated how nervous I was. I knew I should just appreciate the effort she made to actually be with me. After all, I was the one who agreed that maybe Mark had a point. Maybe it was too risky for me to be seen with her. I wouldn't want to do anything jeopardize her career. But I can't help but feel like I was jeopardizing our relationship. Or maybe she was. Maybe it was both of us.

It was rare that we did spend a lot of time together but when we did it was tricky. The nights she would come to my dorm I would have to make sure _no one_ was around; the dead of night. She would try to conceal herself as much as possible, at times almost ridiculously…just for kicks. At least I didn't have to sign her in and out. Our school's security is terrible; old and borderline blind people running the front desk don't even realize her student identification card is from the fall semester…of two years ago.

On other _rare occasions_, she would actually be home; her real house with her parents. I have been there multiple times when we first met and then later when we first started dating. Over summer and holiday breaks we would go back and forth to each other's houses. We just couldn't get enough of each other. We still can't. Well…I can't.

Everything up until we got on the plane sort of just rushed past me. It was like I was on autopilot. I think Alex noticed my quiet behavior. She kept giving me these side glances but I could tell she didn't want to say anything until we were away from everyone. We once again sat next to each other and she nudged me to get my attention.

"Smile for me pretty girl." Her attempt worked only slightly and I looked up at her and her caring eyes. "What's wrong? And don't say _nothing_. I know you better than that." Damn it.

"What's going to happen to us?" I feel like it is taboo to even bring up our relationship anymore.

"What do you mean?"

"When we get back…" A look of realization washed over her face and I briefly wondered if I actually wanted to go through with this.

"Oh."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring it up again I just…"

"No it's okay. _I'm_ sorry. I know how much you like…knowing things and I just like to sort of go with the flow I guess." She had a point. We never were exactly alike. That would be boring. I don't think I could be with someone who was exactly like me. I don't even get how Alex can be with someone like me but I like to think that our differences actually bring us closer, as cliché as that sounds.

"I don't want to be all negative because I really love that you did this for us. But I have to ask because I...I don't want to go back to the way we were," I blurted out and I shut my eyes almost immediately after. So much for not letting go.

"Hey, Mitchie, you don't have to hold these things back from me. Babe, we've been friends for four years and together for three. You can talk to me, you know." I sighed…again…and slumped back in my chair.

"I don't want you to give anything up for me."

"You already know that I would though. I told you that so many times but you keep saying no."

"Well what am I supposed to say? Would you ask me to drop out? Would you ask me to not go to graduate school?" I asked her, completely serious.

"No I wouldn't. But school is important why would I want you to not go? You're brilliant and have so much potential."

"And so do you. Alex, you love what you do and you're great at it." We were never going to settle this issue, I learned. This time it was her turn to sigh.

"Mitchie just don't worry about it. We're gonna be fine." She _always _sounds so sure of herself. I wish I was the same. Because this feeling, I don't even want to call it doubt but I'm afraid I'm going to have to, literally drives me crazy to the point of depression.

"Okay. I believe you." She took my hand securely in hers and it oddly made me feel safe. But I always felt safe with her. Even on those nights where she would sneak into my room like a thief, _oh_ _the irony_, I would still feel safe. Almost every time she would leave before I woke up and I would _for some reason_ still feel safe. It was strange but nevertheless one of the _many_ things that I loved so much about her.

The flight didn't last as long as it did when I went to Baltimore. Well, it didn't feel like it anyway. And I was glad for that. We managed to successfully avoid her fans; that guy…what was his name…Vince, the big guy…was back to fulfill his duties as her loyal, and overbearing, bodyguard. We moved past everyone and slipped into another car, tinted windows and all. Gotta stay hidden.

I don't know what I was expecting. I have come to realize that I never do. Was there going to be a long, emotional goodbye like we were never going to see each other again? When were we even going to see each other again? I know she tries. And I know it's hard for her too. That is usually why I don't say anything. She should already know.

But if she already knows what I'm feeling about everything why wait so long to finally spend real time together? Why does she need me to tell her that I'm hurt and upset and fed up and lonely and sad and…wow I really need to pull myself together.

I could just tell that she didn't want to talk about it anymore. She never does. I thought that after yesterday we would be past not talking about it. I even told her how I was really feeling and she still wanted to ignore it? It's almost like everything that happened just went right over her head.

I think this was the first time I didn't take advantage of the time we had together. The whole plane ride was spent in silence, well…kind of. I didn't want to _ignore_ her but I think I had every right to be upset and actually show it for once.

She was staring at me the whole trip and the trip didn't even last that long. I couldn't even tell what was going through her head. I didn't know if she was staring at me because she knew that I was upset or if she just felt like looking at me. It could have been both but I had no idea. Sometime she would say something sweet to get me to lighten up or relax. Other times she would smile. I didn't get it. What, was she happy that I wasn't? Well, that's cynical.

When we landed back in New York we walked together but, God, I really wanted to reach out and hold her hand or…anything. People don't realize the little things in a relationship that they take for granted. I can't even _look_ at her a certain way because people will just _know_. I can't help but look at her like she's the single greatest thing that has ever happened to me.

I have to watch what I say and how I'm feeling because I could slip up and ruin everything. We just looked like friends as we walked through the airport. Well I guess being friends is better than being strangers. I keep telling myself to just remember that literally everything I'm feeling is exactly what she is feeling. At least, that's what she tells me. But I saw it in her eyes and she was being completely honest with me. This is hard on her too.

So what do I do now? Deal with the pain? Bring this up every time we see each other or talk? If I do that then we're just always going to be arguing and I don't want that. I want us to be happy. And I wish I could just be optimistic like Alex somehow is but after two years of dealing with it I just want to cry.

The car ride to my dorm wasn't as awkward as our time in the airport, most likely because we had privacy again. When we finally did pull up to the building I looked at her, almost expectantly, but what for? What did I even want to happen?

"You don't have to go to work today do you?" she asked and I realized that I completely forgot about my job. I told my boss I couldn't come in this weekend so I doubt he was expecting me.

"No I'm probably just gonna hang with Dave or Ashley or something. I don't really feel like doing anything." I admit I could have tried to sound a _little_ less sad. She leaned over and kissed my cheek.

"I'm glad we got to do this." Her smile was too much. I wanted to be mad at her but damn it her smile is just too cute.

"I'm glad I went looking for you."

"And hopefully…" she said as she came in closer and brushed her lips over my ear. "…we can do this again…really soon." Do what? Spend time together? Or run away and hide together? I can't really tell the difference anymore though.

"Me too," I said quietly, not wanting my voice to betray me. She moved her lips from my ear to my lips and kissed me sweetly. I'm going to miss this. It's always the same after we finally get a chance to be together. She kisses me goodbye and it feels like it's going to be the last time I ever see her. When we pulled apart she rested her forehead against mine. "I love you." I leaned in to kiss her one last time before I reached for the door handle. "Bye, Alex."

"Bye Mitchie, I love you too." There was never a promise of _see you later_ or _see you tomorrow_ or any other day for that matter. I still don't know when I'm going to see her again. I opened the door and embraced the cool autumn breeze and let it calm my nerves as I walked away from the car and the love of my life.

I walked up the stairs to my room instead of taking the elevator. I felt numb again. I think someone said hi to me in the hallway but I couldn't tell you who it was. I just went straight to my room without even acknowledging anyone. When I walked through the door I saw Ashley sitting on her bed with her laptop open. She looked up at me after hearing the door close behind me.

"Hey, you're back already? How'd it go?" she asked excitedly as I sat next to her silently and looked at her. The thing I love about rooming with Ashley is that she gets me. That is why we've remained roommates since meeting during our first year. She can just look at me and instantly pick up on how I'm feeling. Like right now, she stared at my face for about three seconds before giving me the most sympathetic look I have seen from her yet. Almost as if on cue I completely broke down and began crying uncontrollably.

"I can't do this. I can't," I choked out and she moved her laptop to pull me into a hug and I finally let go. I sobbed into her shoulder as I felt everything inside of me fall apart. "She said she feels the same but nothing's going to change."

"Oh, Mitch." Her arm was wrapped securely around my shoulder. "It's okay."

"No it's not. I've been saying that ever since this bullshit started and I've just been getting worse and worse."

"But you said she feels the same."

"It doesn't matter!" I was so glad that she knew I wasn't yelling _at her_. I was just yelling for the sake of yelling. I was angry and someone needed to hear it. As always, that someone was going to be Ashley. "You're the one who told me to break up with her a long time ago."

"If she knows how you feel and apparently feels the same and she still does nothing about it then I still think you should."

"But I can't!"

"You said you can't do this." I make no sense. And that just made me even more upset and frustrated.

"What the hell am I going to do, Ash? She's breaking me but I love her too much to walk away."

"Maybe walking away is what you need to do." I shook my head defiantly against her. "Maybe once she loses you she'll finally give a crap." But she _does_. I pulled away from her and stood up.

"This is ridiculous."

"Well…why didn't you just tell her to quit? I thought she would if you wanted her to."

"So this is _my _fault now?"

"No, I'm not saying it is. But maybe it's simpler than you think. Maybe you're just making this more complicated than it really is. Just tell her."

"But _why_! Why do I need to tell her? Why doesn't she just _want_ to be with me? Why can't she just quit on her own? Why does it have to be about me?" I questioned over and over and I felt myself falling apart once again. Ashley stood up too and pulled me into another calming embrace. But I was so far from calm right now.

"I don't know Mitch, I'm sorry," she said and we just stood there as I cried. I don't know for how long but, Jesus fucking Christ, it was a _while_. Ashley somehow convinced me to lie down and try to sleep the stress off, take some time to relax. I agreed because I honestly felt like I was going to pass out.

Should I just listen to her? Is breaking up with her really the only way to fix things? It can't be. Something so awful can't be the solution to all of this. I wish I wasn't so…attached. Maybe it would be easier to let her go if I wasn't. But I can't help that I fell and fell hard for her. I fell so hard I can't even imagine being without her anymore. That's so sad. _Because I'm always without her._

Despite what Ashley suggested I couldn't sleep to save my life. I just lied in my bed and cried. I thought about calling Alex, texting her even, but couldn't bring myself to do it. Really, what would I even say? I thought I said everything that needed to be said. I don't think that there was anything left that I could do or say anymore.

I stayed in my bed for _hours_. It was around dinner time when I heard a soft knock at my door. Ashley had evening classes…on a Sunday…weirdo, so I doubt it was her. I didn't care who it was though. Truth be told I wanted to be left alone. I was going to tell whoever it was to go away but I forgot my door is always slightly open during the day anyway.

"Mitch, you in here?" I heard a guy's voice form the other side and I recognized it as Dave's. He let himself in regardless but I didn't move from my spot. "Oh there you are. Wow, Ash wasn't kidding. You're a wreck." I looked at him with an emotionless stare. I figured she would have clued him in. "She told me what happened. I just got off of work and I wanted to see if you were okay." He came over and sat next to me on my bed.

"Do I look okay?" My voice sounded terrible. I'm sure I looked just as bad.

"Not really." I sighed and tried to sit up a little bit. "Do you want to talk about it? I know you talked to Ash already but maybe you wanna vent to a guy for a change?" he offered and I actually thought about it. He always knew about my relationship problems but I never really went to him for advice. I figured since I was a girl dating a girl I would only need a girl's advice.

"Sure."

"Come on; let's go grab some food because I'm starving." He pulled me up and I went to the bathroom to wash my face. I felt a little better after that. I quickly changed my shirt not caring that Dave was still standing right there and we left my room together. There was a pretty decent dining hall in the next building over and we didn't have to walk far which I didn't want to do, so that was a plus. We got our food and sat at an empty table. There weren't that many people in here which was weird for a Sunday night.

"Thanks for making me leave my room."

"I can't tell if that was sarcastic or not." I guess my voice is still pretty monotonous at the moment.

"It wasn't," I reassured him and even laughed a little, to my surprise.

"Oh well then you're welcome. So tell me Mitch, what the hell happened this weekend?" I breathed out another sigh and slumped forward.

"She wanted to spend the weekend with me but work somehow got in the way again. It was great for the most part. I told her how much I miss her all the time and how I hate it when she leaves me all the time." He just looked at me intently.

"So what did she say?"

"She felt bad and asked me if I wanted her to stop all of it."

"Did you?"

"No." The more I said it the more I regretted my decision.

"Why not?" Does no one understand? Or am I just insane?

"Because that would be selfish of me. I just wish it didn't have to be so hard. I wouldn't mind the long distance if we could at least be together like a _normal_ couple sometimes."

"I get what you're saying."

"Do you think I should break up with her?" I asked even though I wasn't sure if I wanted to hear his answer. I doubt anything anyone could say could make me do anything though.

"You want my honest opinion?" I nodded. "No, I don't."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. If you love her that much, which I believe you do, then do something about this."

"But what am I supposed to do?"

"I dunno," he shrugged and took a sip from his Gatorade bottle. Well, that was helpful. "Try talking to her again maybe?"

"Dave, no offense, but you're pretty bad at this."

"Yeah I know. I'm not good with…_feelings_. But, if it makes you feel any better, I believe it will all work out for you."

"Thanks, it actually does make me feel a little better." At least _someone _has faith in my relationship. I continued picking at my food and I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. Without really thinking anything of it I pulled it out to see a text message from Alex.

_I miss you :(_

Despite how undeniably distraught I was she still managed to make me smile…even though she's the reason for my depression at the moment. I sent her back a text telling her that I miss her too. When I looked back up I saw Dave staring at me weirdly.

"What?"

"What are you bipolar or something? I thought you were upset now you're smiling all of a sudden." His confused face then turned into one of realization. "It was her wasn't it? You're like a teenager in high school," he laughed and I kicked him under the table.

"Hey fuck you I can't help it."

"Whatever I'm just glad you're not all sad anymore." I felt my phone buzz again.

_What are you doing?_

_Nothing I'm in the dining hall with Dave._

"Well I'm still pretty upset about it but can you blame me?"

"No I guess not. But hey, at least you got to spend the weekend with her."

"I guess." My love life was seriously so pathetic. "Sometimes I wish I told her not to take the deal. But we weren't even going out for that long, would she have even listened?"

"She's been saying that all this time, hasn't she?" he asked and once again I nodded. "You're extremely paranoid. If she tells you that she loves and would do anything for you shouldn't you, I don't know, _believe her_?" He makes it sound like the simplest thing in the world. Was it? Was I seriously just paranoid?

"But if that's true then how come we're still like this? Why hasn't she done anything about it?" My conversation with her was still open on my phone when she texted me again.

_The one by your dorm?_

_Yeah, on the corner. The one we used to go to every morning._

"Why don't you do something about it?"

"What can I do though? It's her job that's the problem, not me." At least he wasn't like Ashley telling me to dump her every ten seconds. I know she means well and she hates seeing me like this but I can't hear that all the time; it's just going to make me worse.

_What are you wearing, sexy ;)_

Oh God, she is seriously something else. Nevertheless, I laughed at her text and Dave looked at me like I was crazy again. Maybe I am bipolar.

_You're ridiculous_

_Tell meeeeeeeeee_

_I'm like in the same thing I wore this morning but now my shirt's red. Nothing special._

"What are you guys sending nudes to each other or something?"

"You wish." I was actually feeling a lot more relaxed since I left my room. This is why I love Dave. "And how can I be? I'm sitting right in front of you…do I look naked to you?"

"Damn right I wish. If she does can you show it to me?"

"Why the fuck would I ever do that?" I asked seriously but I was still laughing.

_I don't know, I think you look pretty hot_

I was still smiling as I went to send a reply but then I stopped and stared at the screen. What the fuck?

_What?_

"Holy crap," Dave said out of nowhere and I looked up at him again but he wasn't looking at me this time.

"What?" I looked around the dining hall to see if anything was out of the ordinary but all I saw were a bunch of students sitting around like we were, most with the same expression as Dave.

"I said, I think you look pretty hot," a voice said into my ear but it wasn't Dave's. _Thank God _it wasn't Dave's. Because that would have been beyond weird. I turned around not believing my ears but I couldn't have been imagining what I saw behind me.

"Alex?" I was in complete shock I don't even know how to form sentences anymore. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Well…not the reaction I was expecting but I'll take it," she said with a smile and I stood up, still not fully believing this.

"What are you doing here?" I asked again, dumbfounded.

"Looking for you. You're not the only person who can track someone down, you know." Her playful tone was back and I still have no idea how she's always so nonchalant when I'm busy having a heart attack.

"Why?"

"Because I wanted to be with you," she said like it was obvious. Was I high? Am I on some type of drug or are we actually standing together, having this conversation in a room _full of people_?

"I…what's going on?" I asked quietly. She let out a small chuckle and held my hand in hers. I am seconds away from dying.

"Mitch, did you really think I was going to just leave after everything? C'mon, you should know me by now."

"I'm so lost."

"My contract's up. That's why Mark wanted me in Baltimore. But I told them I would never re-sign after the crap they put me through the last two years."

"…What?" I was still at a loss for words. Was I even awake right now? Or did I actually fall asleep after Ashley left our room? "You quit?"

"Well technically I'm just done because it was a two year recording contract. But pretty much, yeah. I quit. My career has been mainly music for a while now anyway. But I can do that with or without a studio or a label. I really don't care anymore, Mitchie. All I care about is you."

"So that's it? You're done? Just like that?"

"Well Mark was pretty unhappy about me just walking away but he said he was going to try to figure something out. I don't know what that means. Maybe he's actually going to be nice and let me be myself for a change…not like that stopped me though," she said with a look of pride and I raised my eyebrow not following her at all. "You don't follow anything on the internet, do you?" She took out her phone with her free hand, _because her other was still holding mine_, and scrolled through it for a moment before showing it to me.

"What is this?"

"News travels fast." I stared at the screen in my hand and saw the headline for some article on a website for celebrity news. _Hollywood's Young Power Couple Call It Quits_. A picture of Alex and her _boyfriend_ were directly under the title and I think my jaw dropped a little.

"You broke up with him?"

"Of course I did. I never should have agreed to it in the first place." I felt myself smiling but I was still so overwhelmed.

"You planned all of this; you knew your contract was ending, didn't you?" I asked and she smiled even wider. She always got so excited over things; it was adorable.

"Maybe. Well I couldn't keep doing this when I know you don't want me to." Why did she have to say that? And now the guilt was back.

"I never told you to quit."

"I know. But you didn't have to." And now the confusion was back. Didn't she say she would give up everything if I asked her to? I never did that. "I could just tell. And you were so upset yesterday I never wanted to see you like that again. I mean, I know I'm a little late with this but I was just…scared, I guess," she said nervously. I could see the fear in her eyes. I've seen it before. I recognized it. She's been burned in the past and she still can't help but be guarded after all these years. She's never flat out told me she was afraid though.

"There's nothing to be scared of Alex. You know I would never do anything to hurt you," I told her honestly and her smiley slowly returned.

"I know you wouldn't. And I'm sorry." She didn't have to be. I should have known how she felt. She wouldn't just give up everything for someone especially when the last person she would have done that for turned out to be a complete douche bag and broke her heart.

"Don't be. But I still didn't want you to give everything up just for me."

"I didn't do it for you. I did it for _us_. Yeah I love what I do but I was unhappy because of what it did to us. And it's not like you can talk me out of it. I already spoke to Mark and everyone."

"Why didn't you tell me this before?" It could have saved me the _hours_ I had spent choking on my own tears.

"I wanted to surprise you." I should have seen that coming. "Don't be mad at me." I should have seen _that_ coming. But honestly, how can I be mad at her? She's standing right in front of me telling me that she basically just told her manager and recording company _suck my dick, I'm outta here_.

"I'm not," I said and for the first time since she showed up I looked around, finally remembering where we were having this conversation…in the middle of my dining hall…in front of _everyone_. Some people were still staring at us; others had gone back to what they were doing. It was pretty loud in here so I wasn't entirely sure if anyone could actually hear us but _she was still holding my hand_. My smile soon matched hers. "You know, people are going to talk about this," I told her as I gestured to our now intertwined fingers. She looked at them and then back up at me and shrugged, her smile never leaving.

"Well then they're going to have a fucking _field day_ in about five seconds." I scrunched my brows together and looked at her weirdly. What the hell is she talking about?

"Why? What's going to happen in fi-" Before I could finish questioning her she let go of my hand and grabbed my face, crashing our lips together. Words cannot even _begin_ to describe how I felt at that moment. I have literally dreamed of this for years and I couldn't believe it was actually happening. Once the initial shock died down I eagerly kissed her back, getting drunk off of this feeling.

Her hands moved into my hair and around my neck as mine wound around her waist, pulling her close. I could faintly hear the people around us but I ignored everyone. I could care less what anyone had to say. I was too happy to give a shit anymore. If she doesn't care then neither do I. I just couldn't believe she actually kissed me in public. I would have stayed like this all night but she pulled away and stared into my eyes with that love-filled gaze that she always had when she looked at me. It drove me absolutely crazy in the most wonderful way.

"I have been waiting _way too long_ to do that," she breathed out before retracting her hands and reattaching them to mine.

"No more hiding?" I asked nervously. I don't know why though. I mean it was blatantly obvious that we didn't have a choice anymore. There was no way _nobody_ saw that. She shook her head. "No more rules?" _Those God forsaken rules…_

"Never again. I love you and I don't care who knows it." I'm surprised I could even hear her over the sound of my heart trying to beat out of my chest.

"I love you too." She looked around too, noticing the amount of people staring at us…which was everyone, but she just led me to sit back down at the table I was at. I almost forgot I came here with Dave. He was sitting across from us with a dumb smile. I just _knew_ what he was going to say next.

"Dude that was so hot." He was so predictable. Well, all guys are. "Oh my God having a lesbian best friend is the _best_."

"You're so strange."

"Hey, I thought you were making this whole thing up." I narrowed my eyes at him but Alex laughed loudly.

"Why would you sit here and try to give me advice about a relationship you didn't think was real…you asshole."

"I'm just joking. But Thank God Ash and I won't have to listen to you go _on and on and on and on and_ OW!" he screamed once my foot made contact with his kneecap. "What? You'd be annoyed too after hearing _I miss Alex_ a thousand times a day," he said trying his best to make his voice higher to match mine. I glared at him while Alex continued to laugh. She put her arm through mine and rested her head on my shoulder.

"Aw, you talk about me?"

"_All the time_," Dave answered for me and my glare intensified. "Oh man, Ash is going to lose her shit when she finds out." My face dropped entirely, finally remember who my roommate was.

"She hates me, doesn't she?" Alex asked but it sounded like she already knew the answer to that.

"She doesn't _hate_ you," I tried to reassure her but I doubt I sounded convincing.

"Are you kidding me? She said if she ever saw her she would punch her in the throat." Well that's what happens when I vent to Ashley twenty-four seven about how miserable I am in my relationship. Alex's eyes widened a little and she sat up straight to look at me.

"Should I be afraid of being here?" For a second I thought she was kidding but her expression still seemed slightly nervous.

"Relax babe, she's not going to do anything." A jolt of excitement shot through my body after calling her that in public.

"Yeah don't worry she's like a chihuahua; all bark, no bite. Plus she's like five foot two. You could literally step on her," he added before smacking his hand to his forehead. "Oh shit I forgot have to write my philosophy paper before midnight. I'll see you guys later."

"Yeah I think we're gonna head back to my room anyway," I said as we all stood from the table but Dave stopped and turned around.

"On second thought, I think I'll just hang out with you guys instead…" _Pervert_. I rolled my eyes and slapped his arm before walking past him, Alex in tow.

"Not even in your dreams!" I shouted over my shoulder and grabbed Alex's hand pulling her out of the crowd of people in the dining hall and towards my dorm. We ignored the mess of students with their cameras and cell phones, no doubt trying to get a shot of the _newly gay _Alex Russo and her girlfriend. I liked the sound of that though; _her girlfriend_. Not just some fan or a friend.

Contrary to what my retarded, hormonal best friend believed, Alex and I remained clothed even after we walked into my room. I was so content with the way we were at this very moment. We were lying down on my bed. Well, _she_ was. I was kind of on top of her. Just lying down though; and I swear I never wanted to get up.

"Mitch what the _hell_ is this shit all over the internet!" I guess I was going to have to get up whether I liked it or not. My door flew open, revealing a slightly frantic Ashley, cell phone in hand. "What is-oh God please not again!" she yelled while covering her eyes. Sometimes she was extremely dumb. And by _sometimes_ I mean _all the time_.

"We weren't doing anything!" I said in defense because she for some reason couldn't tell that our clothes were on. We weren't even kissing…_shockingly_.

"Oh. _Good_. I didn't even want to see that a first time. Now would you please explain to me what's going on and why your picture is plastered over every social networking site?" Wow, Alex wasn't kidding…news _does _travel fast.

"Hey Ash, this is my girlfriend, Alex," I introduced and she just stared at me like I was stupid.

"We've met before," she responded and Alex moved her head to hide her blush. Or maybe she was still afraid Ashley was going to try to kill her or something.

"Yeah but I guess we're official now…to the rest of the world, anyway." She eyed the both of us skeptically but I couldn't tell what she was thinking.

"Seriously?" Alex nodded with a hesitant smile. "Wow. Well, fuck, now I guess I can't kick your ass," she admitted and then turned to me. "But I am happy for you. It's a good thing you never went through with breaking up with her. I want details tomorrow though!" She called out as she left to give us privacy and I squeezed my eyes shut and bit my lip, not wanting to look at Alex right now. It was silent for what seemed like an _eternity_ before I felt her hand brush my cheek and I finally willed myself to face her again.

"You were gonna break up with me?" she asked quietly and somewhat sadly. I rolled over so I was lying next to her and I looked into her eyes.

"Um…"

"It's okay, just tell me." Her voice was still low and solemn and I wished Ashley never said anything in the first place.

"I admit there was a time…when _maybe_ I considered it." I felt ashamed admitting to this. This was never something I wanted her to know about. It was a fleeting moment. It passed. I know I could never do it. "But it doesn't matter. I didn't consider it for long. I was just upset and Ash would always tell me that I would be happier or better off if I wasn't with you anymore." The room fell silent again and I waited for an agonizingly long time before she spoke up.

"I'm sorry Mitchie." Her voice cracked a little but I couldn't tell if she was crying or not because she was looking down. "I've given you so many reasons to leave. You would have been better off…"

"No, I wouldn't have," I said firmly and confidently. I may have been an absolute mess at times but I know for a fact I would have been a million times worse if I had left her. "I love you and I stayed with you this whole time because I can't imagine being with anyone else. I didn't care how far away you were or for how long you were gone. Because I know you feel the same and that's all that matters." Slowly but surely her smile came back, making her even more beautiful in the artificial light of my dorm room. She wrapped her arms around my waist and hugged me tight.

"I don't know what I did to deserve you. I'm sorry…for everything; for not being here, for always leaving, for agreeing to anything Mark ever said, for taking such a long time to stop this when I should have done it _years_ ago."

"Don't worry about it, any of it. I'm just happy you're here with me now."

"And I always will be. I'd do anything for you, Mitch." If it were possible my heart actually grew. It doubled in size and expanded in my chest until I was filled with nothing but my love for the girl holding me. I pulled back slightly so we were now face to face and pressed my lips against hers. Kissing her now was…different. It was still amazing and literally took my breath away but now I didn't have to worry or wonder when I would ever get to kiss her again. I have never had certainty.

"Spend the night?" I asked in between kisses and she pulled back.

"I'd love to." I moved so I was lying on top of her again and my hands found their way to her sides. She kissed me a little harder and let out a small moan when I ran my hands down her body. I sucked on her bottom lip and grinded my hips into hers wanting to be as close as possible. Her breathing picked up as did her heartbeat because I could practically _feel_ it beating against _my_ chest. My hands left her sides and trailed to the zipper of her jeans. I was about to slide _my jeans_ down her legs when she pulled away from me again.

She was breathless and beautiful with her cheeks red and lip slightly bruised. I stopped what I was doing and pushed myself up so that I was hovering over her. I was confused. Why did she stop me? She never stops me. She's the one who always wants to have sex.

"What's the matter?" I asked. She didn't say anything. She just touched my cheek softly and rested her hand there all while looking lovingly into my eyes. I leaned into her touch and kissed her palm.

"Nothing. Everything's perfect. You're perfect." I smiled down at her and she smiled back just as wide.

"Then…why'd you…"

"I love you…and God knows I want you, but you were right. Every time we'd see each other all we'd do is have sex. And trust me, I don't mind…but we always have tomorrow," she said and reached up to hold my face between both of her hands. "Or the next day…" She pulled me down to meet her in another passionate kiss. "Or the day after that…" Tears actually almost formed in my eyes. Happy tears, for a change. She's never promised tomorrow.

"So…no sex?" I asked jokingly and she laughed before I climbed off of her and found clothes for her to wear to bed.

"Please, like you would ever be able to resist me." I threw a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, which I'm _sure_ she is going to keep after tonight, and hit her in the face with them.

"You're the horny one in this relationship. You and I both know you can't control yourself," I told her as we both changed. She just shrugged, agreeing with me.

"You're right. But it's not my fault. Have you _seen_ yourself?" I laughed along with her and shut the light off.

"No, not recently."

"Well I have and it would be way too hard to _never_ have sex with you." I'm sure she could see my blush even in the dark. I came back to my bed and crawled in next to her, almost immediately putting my arm around her. It was like second nature, an instinct.

"Well I'm glad I turn you on."

"And how. Now that I'm unemployed I get to spend all my time with you. Gonna be makin' love to you FOR DAYS," she said playfully and I smacked her shoulder.

"You're retarded."

"I can't help it. You're beautiful."

"If you keep talking like that you're gonna make me continue with what I was doing before," I said as my hand slipped under her shirt and grazed her stomach.

"I know." She moved in closer to my chest until her back was pressed against it. "But baby we have all the time in the world now." I held her close and placed a soft kiss on her ear. She sighed peacefully and I suddenly felt exhausted. Sleep was trying to overcome me rapidly and my eyes slowly started to close. Before I completely knocked out I had to ask her. I just needed to know.

"Will you still be here in the morning?" I asked tiredly and I didn't even know if she fell asleep yet or not. A gentle squeeze of my hand let me know that she heard me.

"I'll always be here, Mitch. I'm not going anywhere. I promise." Her quiet voice was soon followed by her calm and steady breathing. That along with her reassurance relaxed me to the point where I felt like I could finally sleep without wondering if I was going to be disappointed or not the next day. Things were going to be different now. She was here with me. She was _staying_. And it was more than I could ever ask for.


	5. Monday

**A/N: I'm still sick and dying so I stayed home again. I updated Alter The Ending yesterday and now here is the final chapter for this story. Thank you for all who read and supported my first short story, and apparently enjoyed it too. I've never done this before and I'm so glad you guys took the time to read and review my writing. It means a lot to me. So anyway. Here is the last chapter; let me know how you like it.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my weird ass dreams.  
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><p><strong>Monday<strong>

For the first time in probably about two years, a whole seven hundred and thirty days, I woke up…happy. I went to sleep with the girl I love in my arms and a smile on my face and now as I open my eyes, everything is exactly the same, the way it should be. I reached over, shutting off my annoying alarm clock and making a mental note to change the tone to something more bearable, and stared at my girlfriend next to me. She kept her promise. She stayed.

This was bizarre, and slightly ironic. I knew I had class soon and, shockingly, I would be leaving her. What a funny little twist we have here. Still, I couldn't contain my happiness, I was in absolute bliss. I tried to slip out of the bed and somehow managed to do so without waking her. I am seriously contemplating skipping my classes and just spending the day with her but I remembered her words from last night. _We always have tomorrow_.

I carefully went through my drawers, finding random things to wear today. I looked around the room and noticed that Ashley never came back. She probably thought we were going to have sex the whole night. I'm honestly surprised that we didn't but, in a way, I'm kind of glad we didn't. I pulled my shirt over my head and turned around to see Alex awake and staring at me.

"If I'd have known you were getting naked I would have woken up earlier." She sat up and continued shamelessly staring at me before I put on another shirt, earning a pout. "Boo, you suck."

"No, you're just perverted."

"No, you're just hot." She smirked and winked at me. Even after knowing her for four years she still makes me feel like a lovesick teenager. I mean, look at me. I'm about to finish college and a simple wink is making me blush and weak in the knees. _Unbelievable._

"Thank you. I guess you're alright too." I tugged a pair of jeans on and she scoffed.

"Please, I'm better than alright. Why don't you come back to bed and let me show you…" she said seductively, which was impressive at seven o'clock in the morning. I kept smiling and walked back over to my bed and crawled on top of her until she was lying down again.

"I bet you could," I whispered in her ear, letting my lips brush over it. I felt her hands trail up to my waist. "But I have class, so…no thank you." I smiled brightly and got off of her hearing her groan in frustration.

"So? Just don't go today. Stay with me," she begged softly and I swear that was enough to make me melt in the palm of her hand. I would literally do anything she asks of me. But with the semester being so close to the end I can't afford to miss anything. I had to keep my grades perfect and ditching wouldn't help at all.

"You know I want to and I wish I could just spend the whole day with you but I can't. I'm sorry." She pouted again and I realized that if she wasn't so cute it would be a whole lot easier to say no to her. But all I want to do is say yes to everything she wants. I leaned down and kissed her still-pouted lips but as I pulled away she held me by the hand. I laughed at her and her borderline separation anxiety. "Alex, I gotta go." I tried again to get away but she just pulled again.

"Noooo baby don't leave me!" she whined dramatically but I couldn't give in to the power that was her adorable face.

"I'm not leaving you I just have class for a few hours then I'll come right back. You could probably sleep until then; I know you sleep like a sack of bricks."

"I mean _I guess_ if you're going to leave me all sad and alone with no one to talk to and no human contact or food or love or-"

"Oh God Alex, shut _up_," I said with another laugh, cutting off her stupid rambling. _The perks of dating a drama queen_. "Sweetie I know you're an actress but I think you're overdoing it."

"I just don't want you to go. Stay…please?"

"Alex. I'm going to class, not getting shipped off to Iraq."

"You might as well be. Oh man, I'm so sorry for all those times I left you in the morning this is awful."

"At least I'm coming back," I said, mostly to myself. After this weekend I shouldn't bring any of this up again. Force of habit, but sometimes I need to not say things out loud. Arms wound around my waist from behind me and I just noticed that she got out of bed. She laid the side of her head against my back and I covered her hand with my own.

"I know. God, I don't want to be away from you for a couple of hours and I've left you for months at a time." She placed a soft kiss on my neck. "I'm still so sorry for everything I put you through." I turned in her embrace so that I was facing her.

"You know I already forgive you for that."

"I know but…still."

"Don't worry. Everything's good now." She smiled and nodded in agreement.

"We're good now."

"We're great now." I leaned in to kiss her one more time before I had to leave. As if sent by my professor to make sure I don't get too caught up with my girlfriend and miss class, Ashley walked through the door.

"Oh come on, every time?" she said tiredly before turning the lights on, making the both of us wince from the brightness.

"You have _such_ good timing Ash."

"Yeah and I was just hoping you guys would be getting all hot and heavy when I walked in this early in the morning."

"I mean, if you really want…" I went back to kiss Alex but this time on the side of her throat as I let one hand slip under her shirt and toward her chest. She breathed out the quietest moan I have ever heard, stifled and forced down.

"Uh M-Mitch…stop," she tried to say all while hiding her blush…and arousal.

"Jesus Mitchie, have some class." I held up my middle finger in Ashley's direction before pulling away from my flustered girlfriend who in turn slapped me on the shoulder.

"Ow, sorry. It was funny." She fixed her shirt as my roommate laughed at our little dispute.

"You guys are weird. But Mitch we really need to get going. We have a psych lecture this morning and Thompson's gonna hold a review for the exam this Friday."

"Ah crap, I forgot. Damn it, I guess I really can't skip today." I never thought it would feel this way. Well, I never had the chance to because I have hardly ever woken up with her. But when I did it was one of those extremely rare occasions where neither of us had anything to do. And here now, standing in front of her happier than ever, and knowing I have to leave…it hurts. I really am way too attached to her.

"It's okay babe don't worry about it. I'll be fine," she reassured me with a smile. It was that genuine smile, one to show me that everything really was okay not just with me leaving but everything about us. It gave me the will to actually grab my things and walk out the door with Ashley.

"I'll be back before you know it." Before I fully left I stopped and backtracked to where she was still standing and gave her a quick kiss. And I say _quick_ because if it lasted any longer than one second then Ashley was going to have to leave without me. "Okay now I really have to go. If you get bored just text me or something."

"Okay, I love you."

"I love you more," I called out and hustled out the door to reunite with the short brunette in the hallway. "Hey sorry, come on let's go before we're late."

"Not that I'm not thrilled for you Mitch, but aren't you two a little too attached to each other?" she asked as if she were joking but I could hear the hint of genuine curiosity. The irony of her words actually made me laugh. Before I could answer I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I opened it and smiled. I guess Alex couldn't be alone for less than a minute.

_I'm bored. Come back?_

"You don't have to tell me. I _know_ we are."

"I guess it's understandable. I mean, how long have you guys been together?"

"Um…three years, give or take a couple months." We've been together for three years, seven months, and sixteen days but telling her that would make me come off as strange and obsessive.

"Now…how long have you _actually_ been…_together_." I didn't even need to ask her to elaborate but I have thought about this enough to know the almost exact answer to that as well.

"Well the first year was great, perfect even. I had never been so happy in my life."

"You sure seemed it too. I remember that year. You were almost always in a good mood. Made living with you a whole lot easier," she teased with a nudge and I shoved her back playfully. As if I was the most difficult person to live with.

"Hey I'm like the easiest person to live with. You're the one who always made a mess of the room. And as I recall, _I _was the one always cleaning it."

"Yeah because _you're_ the one with OCD."

"I do not have OCD! I'm sorry that I picked up after you like I'm your mother. I'll let you do it yourself from now on."

"No please if you don't do it it'll never get done."

"Then _shut up_." She hit me again and I decided to not keep my girlfriend waiting with a text message.

_I haven't even left the elevator!_

"You are seriously ridiculous!" she yelled once she noticed me drift out of our conversation and lose myself in another.

"What?"

"Come on we're not even out of residence yet!"

"Oh whatever."

"You two have issues." The funny this is, we actually _don't_ anymore.

"It's just…after such a long time we're finally together and I mean really together. And the thought of anything separating us…"

"I get it." It was silent for a while as we exited the building and headed towards the one which held the lecture hall our class was in.

"Four months." Ashley looked at me, not really understanding what I was referring to.

"What?"

"After the first year of us being together, if you add up all the days, we've been _together_ for only a little over four months," I admitted and a melancholic wave washed over my entire body remembering just how little we saw of each other.

"Wow…"

"I know."

"For what it's worth I'm sorry for all the jokes I made about your _imaginary girlfriend_. I guess I never really stopped to think that it might just make you feel worse. And I knew how you felt about the whole thing."

"Don't worry about that Ash. I mean, it was _kind of_ funny," I offered a weak smile so she wouldn't be so hard on herself.

"Still, you were hurting constantly. And just so you know…that's the only reason I was so adamant telling you to break up with her. Deep down I didn't really want you to and I knew you never would. You're my best friend and I hated seeing you like that all the time. You know? But I know she makes you happy. And I'm happy for you, especially now," she concluded as we walked down the hall in search of our room. We found it and I stopped to pull her into a hug. The girl has been my rock through my college life and without her I honestly don't know what I would have done with myself. My dark days found light because of the brunette and I owe her a lot for saving me from myself.

"Thank you, for everything."

"Anytime." We broke apart and entered our classroom, taking a random seat not too far in the back and not too close to the front. My phone went off again just as the lecture started.

_I can't believe you still keep your clothes in color order you freak_

Huh…maybe I do have obsessive compulsive disorder.

_Shut up! And why are you going through my things?_

_I need clothes, duh_

_Is everything going to be exactly the way I left it?_

_Of course it is. Minus a few things…_

_Oh my God you're insane. Fine, take everything. Who needs clothes anyway?_

_K THANKS BABE_

I actually laughed out loud by accident earning quite a few weird looks from my fellow classmates, including Ashley. I looked down and soon enough everyone went back to the lesson but not before the professor announced that everyone put their cell phones and _other electronic devices_ away. Well, so much for texting Alex to keep her from being bored.

"Ten bucks says you can't go through class without checking your phone," Ash whispered while scribbling down some notes.

"I don't even _have_ ten dollars." It was true. Skipping out on work all weekend resulted in me never picking up my paycheck for the previous week. I'm more or less broke until Wednesday.

"It's okay you can pay me when you get the chance." Since she was _so sure of herself_ I decided to take her up on this little bet. I don't know why though; like I said, I'm way too attached. I had a feeling I was soon going to be in debt to the brunette.

"Alright _fine_." Almost like there was some divine spirit mocking me, my phone vibrated in my pocket once again and I actually had to refrain from keeping my hands on the desk in front of me.

"God, you're like a crack fiend. Just wait an hour! Oh man, I'm gonna have fun with this."

"You're the worst," I whispered, shaking my head at both her and my inability to resist my girlfriend.

"Love you too."

* * *

><p>Three and a half hours and I managed to end up ten dollars richer after my lecture. Alex eventually stopped texting me and I would have questioned it but I was too focused on my classes after a while. Still, I wanted to get back to my dorm room as quickly as possible. It's weird because I have gone so much longer without seeing her. But just knowing she was waiting for me filled me with this anxious and restless feeling in my body.<p>

I all but sprinted up the stairs, not bothering to wait for the elevator, all the way to my room. I opened it and was overcome with confusion and something I thought I was past being overcome with. Disappointment. She wasn't there like I thought she would be. Where could she have possibly gone off to? I thought she was done with her hectic and unpredictable schedule. Before I could start accusing and getting upset I noticed one of my drawers open. My hands just itched to fix it. Before shutting it I noticed a folded piece of paper sitting inside of it. She so knew I wouldn't be able to control my habit and would come over here.

_Mitch_

_I got a call from Mark so I went out for a bit. I need to take care of some things. Sorry I didn't text you but it was really last minute and I didn't want to call you while you were in class. I shouldn't be too long though. Call me when you read this. I love you._

I shut the drawer with a long, dragged out sigh. I wonder what this is all about. I thought she quit. Why would her manager need her? He wasn't even her manager anymore. I didn't want to dwell too long because I was growing increasingly curious as to why she wanted me to call her as soon as I got back. So without another thought I pulled out my cell phone and dialed her number.

"Hello?" her voice rang through my ears as if I hadn't seen her in months again.

"Hey Alex."

"Oh, hey Mitch. Look, I'm glad you called. There's something we need to talk about." Her words struck something within me and I don't know what it was about what she said that pulled at my heart with such force but I felt like I couldn't speak. "Mitch? You there?"

"Yeah," I managed to spit out after a good moment or two of absolute silence. "I'm still here. Um…what did you want to talk about?"

"Okay…well…so yeah, Mark called me a couple hours ago. He heard about my uh…_little stunt_ last night at the dining hall. Apparently it's all over the place. He wasn't _too_ pissed about it. He just thinks it was a bit much. Anyway, that's not the point." It wasn't? "He offered me a new contract." My heart sank once again at her words. After all this we were going to go through it _again_? No. I can't. I won't do it. Not again.

"Are you serious?" I asked, my voice not entirely giving away my despondence towards the new information.

"Yeah but before you say anything, it's not that bad. I swear it's not like before." Oxygen once again returned to my lungs before I could lose consciousness. "I obviously can't undo what I did, not like I want to anyway. Mark thinks I have a strong enough fan base anyway to not let it affect my career too much."

"Oh, well that's a good thing then, right?" I asked, wondering why she sounded like she was about to tell me something that could potentially send me into a whirlwind of depression…again.

"Well…yeah, but…" she trailed off. _There _it was.

"But what?"

"But I might be away for a while again." Even though she said _might_ I highly doubt that was the case. Every time she would tell me something isn't as bad as it seemed or something wasn't definite I was always left…disappointed.

"What do you mean? I thought you quit."

"I mean…I know I did but, listen this is nothing like the last time. We won't have to hide or sneak around. I thought it would be better and this way I can still keep my job…and you."

"So what's the problem?"

"Well he thinks a tour would be in my best interest…right away," she said, almost hesitantly, afraid of how I would react. Honestly, I don't even know how to react.

"_Right away_?"

"Yeah…" A lull floated through the phone as our conversation seemed to come to a halt.

"And?" I asked, knowing there was more to it then she was letting on.

"And…I agreed to it…but, Mitch-"

"You what?" I asked incredulously. I knew I shouldn't react this was but it was an impulse. I mean, I was always the one encouraging her but she literally _just_ quit last night.

"I said yes but-"

"Alex!"

"I swear it's not as bad as it seems." That was such a typical response I wish she was here to see me rolling my eyes. "Are you mad at me?" I felt myself soften at her gentle questioning.

"No…I'm not mad. It's just…I just got you back and now you're leaving me again?" I tried not to let my voice break but it was easier said than done. I soon felt the warm wetness of familiar tears slowly making their way out of my eyes and down my cheeks.

"I know but I'm still trying to figure this all out. I just wanted to let you know. I'm sorry for taking the deal without talking to you first but…I promise I'm going to make this work out, okay?" I sighed louder than I intended to and rubbed my eyes before pinching the bridge of my nose.

"Fine." I didn't know what else to tell her anymore. I'm glad she filled me in on what was happening but it didn't make it hurt any less.

"Please don't be mad at me."

"I'm not. I promise. Just…when are you coming back?" I asked before a thought passed through my head. Was she even coming back at all? The thought alone made me want scream and stomp on my phone until it was nothing but a crushed pile of…whatever cell phones are made of.

"In like…an hour; shouldn't be more than that."

"Okay."

"Alright, I gotta go but…we'll talk about this later?"

"Sure."

"Okay…I love you, Mitchie." I took a moment to collect myself and come back to my senses.

"I love you too." I hung up and tossed my phone onto my bed before running my shaky hands through my hair. I took a deep breath and began undressing. I tore my clothes off and dug furiously through my drawers, while still trying to keep everything where it should be. I settled on a random pair of navy shorts and a white t-shirt. It wasn't too cold but still slightly windy so I grabbed my dark grey hoodie and pulled it on before snatching my iPod from the dresser and putting the ear buds in. I tied my hair back in a ponytail, threw on my sneakers, and headed out the door.

I took the stairs and the second I exited the residence hall I started running. The wind distracted me from the mild heat coming from the sun and it almost calmed me. I pushed myself further and picked up the pace, running a little faster. I always did this. Every day, it was a routine of mine. It helped me clear my head and the exercise was good for me so that was a plus. I didn't want to think about Alex or anything she had just told me but it kept sneaking its way back into my brain.

I jogged around the corner and down the block, heading towards the courtyard. It was a nice place and really pretty to look at too. The park was a place I would always run to and take a break, just to stop and look around. I loved people watching. There were students as well as random people from off the street just passing by. As I reached the next block thoughts of Alex came flooding back once again.

I turned up the volume of my iPod to full blast, blocking out any and all noises from entering my ears. I didn't want to think about it until I absolutely had to. I couldn't even focus on my surroundings. I ran past people, just barely dodging them, uttering quick and mumbled apologies to them as I continued towards the overpass to get to the other side to the park. As the current song was ending and fading into the next my run stopped abruptly and my entire body collided into something, sending me crashing to the ground hard.

For a second I thought everything around me was spinning madly until I shook my head clear. A throbbing pain shot through it briefly before the pain in my back overpowered everything else as I tried sitting back up. Whoever I ran into was knocked off of their feet as well and they were also struggling to stand. I wiped the dirt off the back of my bare legs before I looked up to apologize for not paying any attention and being such a danger to the rest of Manhattan.

"Oh God I'm really sorry. I wasn't looking where I was going are you okay?"

"Yeah, don't worry about it, it was my fault," a beautiful voice said to me and I thought I was dreaming for a second. Did that fall knock me out? Or am I seriously hearing…

"Alex?" I asked in complete shock and confusion. The girl sat up fully, rubbing the side of her elbow and stood, extending a hand to me to help me up too.

"Hey Mitch, funny running into you here," she said with an amused smile while I was still trying to process the fact that she was standing right in front of me. What was she doing here? I thought she said she was going to be at least an hour.

"What…what are you doing here? I thought you were with Mark."

"I was but we ended the meeting early. I was walking through here on my way back. You know, we have a lot of great memories here." A warm smile graced her lips but was soon replaced with a sheepish look that I didn't quite understand. "And um…don't be mad at me but…I think the ring fell off my necklace," she confessed with a guilty face and I looked toward her neck and noticed it was in fact missing. There was a strange pang in my chest.

"You…lost it?" I asked hoping I had heard her wrong. But I knew it was true. She nodded.

"I'm sorry Mitchie. I had it when I left."

"Did it come off when I ran into you?"

"I think so. It _should_ be around here somewhere." I took my other headphone out of my ear and wrapped the cord around my iPod and shoved it in my pocket. I didn't want to get mad at her because it wasn't her fault but I was still a little down about it. That necklace was really special not just to her but to me too. I gave it to her for our one year anniversary.

"Don't worry, we'll find it," I assured her and turned around to scan the ground to see if I could see it. As I moved my eyes all around I felt a sense of…almost nostalgia as the familiar setting settled in and I actually found myself smiling. I let a chuckle escape me as I continued looking. "Uh, I don't think it's over here," I called over my shoulder while still straining to find it.

"Just keep looking," she said back but I really don't think it's over here. "Never mind, I found the ring," she said with enthusiasm and I was consumed with relief.

"Thank God, I…Alex…what are you doing…" I trailed off as I turned around. What I saw literally stunned me to stone. I couldn't breathe, speak, or move at all. My eyes fought the urge to widen upon seeing Alex wearing that beautiful smile of hers, down on one knee, and holding a ring—not her ring but a brand new ring with a gorgeous diamond sitting on top of it. I could have cried.

"Mitchie…four years ago you ran into me in this very spot and I never expected you to change my life as much as you have. When I met you I was broken but you showed me that not everyone is going to hurt me, not everyone is like that. I didn't even know you and you decided to help me and make me feel better and I can't thank you enough for even giving me the time of day. I was guarded and refused to let anyone in but you never gave up on me."

"Alex-"

"Hang on, Mitch; I'm trying to be sentimental." She reached into her back pocket and pulled out a thin silver chain, her ring safely hanging off the end of it. "Three years, seven months, and sixteen days ago you asked me to be your girlfriend and literally made me the happiest girl in the world. Because of you I learned to trust and to love again. You gave me this necklace and it was the most amazing and perfect gift you could have ever given me and ever since then I have wanted to make it up to you. But then when I started acting and singing we grew apart but only in distance. Throughout those two torturous years I have never stopped loving you. And you stayed with me and never stopped loving me even though I didn't deserve it. I always knew it but after this weekend we spent together I decided that I never want to be without you again. I love you more than anything and want nothing more than the chance to be able to call you mine forever and to spend the rest of my life with you so I can make it up to you and show you how much you mean to me each and every day. Will you give me that chance?" She held up the other ring a little higher and a hopeful smile beamed across her face. "Mitchie, will you marry me?"

"I…what?" I stuttered out, not really knowing what I was thinking or saying. I saw her smile fall and her eyebrows scrunch together. I also saw literally _everyone_ in the courtyard watching us intently as if we were their favorite television show. My mind was on overload and I needed a second to process everything she just told me, every beautiful and wonderful thing she just told me.

"Do you…want me to repeat all of that?" she asked, unsure of how to respond to my weird reaction. I wouldn't know how to respond to me either. I don't even know how to respond to _her_.

"No I just…can you get up?" I asked feeling extremely overwhelmed with the situation. My heart was racing and I thought it was going to explode inside of me at any moment.

"But that'll ruin the moment, babe," she said but stood up anyway. She didn't seem completely discouraged and I was glad I hadn't hurt her feelings by not answering her. "I mean, I recreated the moment we first met; you can't get more romantic than that. I've been standing over there for like twenty minutes waiting for you come through."

"How did you even know I was going to be here?"

"You always go running after class. And you definitely always run when you're upset. I know everything about you Mitch."

"I know, I'm sorry, I'm just…in shock, is all," I admitted and she breathed out a light laugh and raised her eyebrows.

"Seriously? This weekend I told you I wanted to marry you like…five or six times. I thought you would have gotten the hint by now," she said, her smile coming back but I still didn't know what to say. "Mitchie if you don't say something I'm just going to take your silence as a yes and then we're going to get married whether you like it or not," she joked, I guess trying to lighten the seriousness of the atmosphere around us.

"This is crazy," I breathed out finally.

"Well…that's…_different_ than the answer I was hoping for…"

"I mean, don't you think it's a little, I don't know, soon?"

"Not really. I mean, I know I love you and want to be with you forever. And let's face it, dear, you're not getting any younger," she teased with a swift kiss to my knuckles.

"I'm only twenty-two! And that's still really young."

"Well, I don't think that matters. And neither do your parents." Now I allowed my eyes to widen. I didn't expect to hear that either.

"My parents?"

"Yeah. What, did you think I would propose to you without talking to your parents about it first? Come on, babe, I'm a polite girlfriend. Of course I asked them for permission first. They were a little hesitant in the beginning but after a while I won them over and they said they were all for it." I can't believe it. She had this whole thing planned out; ever single detail. The ring, the setting, the entire proposal.

"But…what about before? What about your job?" She put her necklace back in her pocket but still held the box with the ring in it in one hand as she used the other to reach out and hold mine again.

"Look I know you said you weren't mad before but you can't fool me. That's how I knew you would go running if I said something to upset you." I think my jaw actually dropped a little bit.

"So you didn't really take the deal?"

"No I did. But I told you I was going to make everything work out for us. Originally I was supposed to leave for tour in a couple weeks and come back by the end of the summer but I told Mark no. I was going to say yes because I figured that maybe you could come with me since you would be done with school and then after you would come back and start graduate school in the fall." I felt myself smiling a little. She actually thought about me and my education before going through with any of this. And she wanted me to come with her for the entire summer.

"So why didn't you take that deal?" I asked, wondering what made her change her mind. It seemed like a pretty good deal to me.

"Well at first I figured since I would leave before you finished school I could just fly you out whenever you were done but…I didn't want to do that."

"Why not?"

"Mitchie, I have been away for such a long time and I have missed out on a lot. Video chatting and phone calls aren't enough for some things and I didn't want to do that anymore. This is your final year of college; I didn't even finish. But you did. I'm so proud of you and if I went on tour in a couple weeks I wouldn't be able to watch you graduate one month from now."

"You really want to see my graduation?" I asked, my smile taking over my entire face with excitement.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world. So I told Mark that and we agreed on a late fall tour instead and I would be home by the holidays so I can spend it with you. Now I would ask you to come with me but I know you want to start graduate school after the summer so I figured at least you will be busy while I'm away and I can't ask you to just not go to school-"

"I'll go with you," I blurted out without much thought to it. I didn't even need to think about it. Now it was her turn to look shocked.

"You…what? But…what about…"

"Alex, I can go to school whenever. It's not going anywhere. You've done so much and sacrificed so much for me. It's time I do the same for you. I mean, you quit your job for me! I think I can take a semester off to be with you." She seemed so ecstatic like she didn't believe I was actually going along with this. But I love her and would do anything for her.

"Really?" I nodded and she gave my hand a light squeeze as we just happily stared into each other's eyes.

"Hey! You guys getting married or what!" Our trance was broken by a random guy who looked to be in his thirties walking his dog in the courtyard. He was one of the many bystanders who have stopped to witness this proposal. We looked away from each other and glanced around at our surroundings. All eyes were on us; anxious and expectant, desperate to finally hear me answer my girlfriend. I was still a little hesitant though. Alex looked back at me with a comforting smile.

"If you still think we're too young for this then we can wait as long as you want. I don't care if we get married in ten years, two years, or tomorrow. I just want it to be official. I want to be able to call you my fiancé, instead of my girlfriend, or my friend, or…just some fan I have never met before. And one day, I want to call you my wife. So, what do you say? Will you marry me, Mitch?" She held up the box with the ring in it once more. I looked at the box, then at Alex, then to all of the people in the park, then back to Alex. And the situation finally hit me like a fucking tidal wave. _Alex wants to marry me._ I took a deep breath, never looking away from those perfect brown eyes of hers.

"Alex…you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You're not just my girlfriend but you're my best friend too. You're everything I could ever want or need. And even though the last two years have been…rough, I love you and I can't imagine my life without you." I continued to stare at Alex, her eyes piercing mine with hope and anticipation, as were the eyes of every person in the park. "Yes…I will marry you," I finally said and she let out a breath and tears collected in her eyes. The most beautiful smile graced her already magnificent face and I swear I have never seen this girl look so happy in my life. I'm sure I looked the same because no one makes me happier than Alex. Without another word she took the ring and slid it onto the finger of the hand she was holding.

"I love you, Mitchie," she whispered shakily as she wrapped her arms around my waist in a tight and loving embrace and crashed her lips into mine with so much passion and love I thought my legs would give out right then and there. I kissed her back and placed my arms around her neck, pulling her in closer. I could just faintly hear the crowd around us, now clapping and cheering, but I tuned everything out. The only thing I could hear was the sound of my heart beating madly against hers. She tightened her hold on me just a little bit more and lifted me off the ground. I wrapped my legs around her and kissed her harder, my tears now sliding down my face and landing on her cheeks. After finally parting for air she set me down but still held on to me and rested her forehead against mine. "I still don't know how I got so lucky."

"Me neither…I can't believe we're engaged," I said quietly in amazement.

"Well believe it…because I plan to keep you…forever. I love you."

"I love you too," I whispered and leaned in to kiss her again. I couldn't fathom what had happened in the last three days. I went from being a complete stranger, to a fan, to her friend, to her girlfriend, and now right here in front of a bunch of people she proposed to me. We've both come a long way. I started out not really caring about finding someone or getting into a relationship and she started out not trusting _anyone_. We found each other when we needed each other the most and we didn't even know it. We pulled through when everyone, including myself, thought this wouldn't work out. But we made it. We're here now, together and we will always be together. Just me and Alex; my best friend, my girlfriend…my _fiancé_…my everything.

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


End file.
